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“So,” he asked carefully, “is it really over between you two?”
“It has to be.” My eyes burned inside the flames of that truth.
“It doesn’t.” He held my gaze. “Our hearts don’t always do what we tell them to.”
“Mine will,” I said stubbornly. “You guys are going on. I want you to go on.” I took one of his hands. “But I have to stay here. And I need a job, one with some upward mobility. I needed that even before my mom did what she did and left me without options.”
I swallowed. It hit me like being buried beneath an avalanche that Rachel was essentially already gone. I was completely on my own, or I soon would be. No Rachel. No Barry. And certainly no Collin.
“You could go with us,” Barry said. “Get a job in LA.”
“Not when I already have a job here.”
“With Martin?” Barry’s eyes narrowed. “I don’t like it. I don’t like him.”
“He’s not all that bad,” I muttered.
“You were in his office a long time during sound check.” His hand in my grip fisted. “What the hell was that all about?”
I was surprised Barry had noticed. “He fed me dinner. We talked. He’s going to help me with the cops and a lawyer.”
“Rachel told me he’s supposed to help you, but you can’t trust that guy,” he said grimly.
“I don’t have to trust him completely.”
“You shouldn’t trust him at all.” Withdrawing his hand from mine, Barry pounded it on his thigh. “He’s earned every bit of the reputation he has.”
“Meaning what?” I asked.
“This club isn’t the only source of his income.”
“I know. He has deals with La Rasa Prima. Their leader was here earlier.”
“He’s a dealer, Addy. He’s using the club to launder his dirty money.”
I nodded somberly. I’d suspected something like that. After only one day looking at the receipts, I could see that the numbers for the club, though good, weren’t that good. They weren’t enough to cover the wages of all the employees, the overhead, the expensive renovations he’d done to the building.
“But that’s Martin’s business,” I said to Barry, “not mine. I’ll just do my job.”
“I don’t like it, and I know you don’t either.”
“It doesn’t matter if I like it.” Which, of course, I didn’t because of what drugs had done to my mother, and to my sister and me by default. But I pressed my lips into a determined line. “I’ll do what I have to. My situation is too dire for ideals, for being picky about where I work. You know it, and I know it. It’s just the way it is.”
“I do know. I’ve been in tight spots too, though I’m worried yours is worse.” Barry captured my hands. Bringing them together, he squeezed. “I support you. I’m behind you. We’ll figure this out.”
It felt good to have his support. So good. But I knew with LA hovering in the band’s future that Barry’s support was only temporary.
“Make it through these next two weeks,” I said, reciting the list that had bullet points and bold letters in my mind. “Avoid the cops. Get that paperwork from Martin’s lawyer so I can sign the RDA contract for Rachel. After that, you guys will go on to bigger and better things, and maybe I can start looking for another job without any ties to Martin.”
Barry gave that some consideration. “You know Collin’s devastated.”
Yeah, well, I was devastated too. “The writing was on the wall for us. We both just refused to see it.”
I stood tall as I spouted those lies, pretending to be a grownup. Not a teenager who wanted to believe if you wished for something hard enough, you could make it come true.
Barry’s fingers flexed over mine. “A record deal isn’t much of a consolation if he loses you.”
“He’ll be okay.” Why did it suddenly feel like we weren’t talking about Collin anymore? “He has his parents. The band. A bright future ahead of him, and a foundation to fall back on should anything go wrong.”
