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“Yes,” he said, gazing at me steadily. “You’re strong, a loyal and caring friend. So willing to give up everything for those you love. Everything I know about being a good friend, I learned from you.”
I let out a shuddering sigh. “That’s nice of you to say.”
Oh, how I wanted to gather the pieces of my broken heart, pick myself up from the floor, and rise from the ashes, but I reminded myself that I’d blown being a good friend to Barry the other night. Motivations mattered, in friendship and in everything else. I didn’t deserve him anymore.
Had I denied him and what I felt for him in front of the others to protect his position in the band, or had I done it only to protect myself? Unsure and reeling, I was questioning everything, even him.
“Did you know Collin was deceiving me?”
Barry flinched, then nodded. “Yes.”
I curled my hands into fists. “How long have you known?”
“A while.” He pressed his lips into a flat line.
“Before you held me in your arms and almost kissed me?”
His expression turned stony. “That had nothing to do with Collin.”
“Not nothing. You knew I was going to find out and be hurt. I was hurting. I was vulnerable.” I hated using that word to describe myself. “You took advantage.”
“It wasn’t only me.” Flames erupted in his gaze, consuming the stone.
“So, our friendship was a lie too.”
Now I had nothing to hold on to. Acknowledging that hurt as deeply as Collin’s rejection.
“We are friends. Best friends,” Barry said, his jaw clenched. “We’ve seen each other through a lot.”
“Not with honesty.”
“Addy, come on. Don’t torch us because what Collin said shook you.”
“There is no us. Just lies covered up by pretty words and ideals like all the rest. Let me go, Barry.”
I withdrew my hand from his. The world spinning again, I realized belatedly as I tried to stand alone that Andy was gone too, and only my sister and Daniel remained.
“Addy,” Rachel said, moving closer. “Let me help you.”
I shook my head at her. My eyes were open now. Reality my only companion, I had to help myself.
She frowned. “Collin’s wrong about you. You’re a great sister. A good friend.”
“He isn’t wrong.” I was so messed up. I deserved whatever happened to me. Collin should never have tried to love me.
“It’ll be okay.”
“It won’t.” I shook my head at her.
“Daniel.” Rachel glanced at him, her gaze imploring. She believed he cared about her, that he could help her, but I wasn’t so sure.
But we each had to make those determinations ourselves, find our own path, and walk on it the best we could. At least Daniel was from Lakeside. He had money. Money helped. Whether he really cared about Rachel or not wasn’t my call. My sister had to do what she felt was best for her, and I had to do the same. That started right now with no more lying to myself.
I clenched my fists tighter, determined to be strong.
So what if I had a wall? So what if I made plans? I needed to have them. They were necessary.
“Boss wants to speak to you,” Arturo said, startling me.
