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* * *
SOPHIE
Nine days out of ten, Sophie adored living alone. Eating alone. Waking alone.
Then came the tenth day.
She didn’t regret being single. Because relationships ruined people. And so she could give a flying fuck about letting someone close enough to hurt her the way her father had hurt her mother.
But sometimes, when she was on her own in a crowded place, and longing burned in her throat like a shot, she missed conversation. Friendship.
Mitch was a chatter. A fumbler. A jokester. Could kill her with a look. But he was also endlessly kind. Optimistic and playful and compassionate. The first person since Levi who slotted into her existence so well. Like he’d always been there.
Enough. She liked her life. It was fine. She was fine. She didn’t need ten thousand friends. She had her work and her apartment and Levi. And when that wasn’t enough, she could go out and find what she needed.
It had been working, too, until Mitch arrived. Until then, Sophie had been blind to a longing buried deep inside her.
Now she couldn’t ignore it, even if she tried. Couldn’t stop thinking of him. Fuck. This was what she’d been avoiding.
How dare he? She hadn’t wanted to wake up facing the empty side of the bed and wish there was someone beside her. Hadn’t wanted to think of him when a certain song came on the radio during her morning commute. Hadn’t wanted the butterflies that fluttered inside her each morning as she made her way to the Vault, knowing he’d be there.
Sophie was a complete person. If Mitch moved on tomorrow, she would survive just fine. There shouldn’t be a black hole of an ache in her chest at the thought of not seeing him anymore. They weren’t even dating.
It was so much easier to be alone.
Sophie could handle a million lonely nights if it meant not being left behind again.
* * *
Midtown was alive tonight. It had been months since Sophie had gone out on her own. It was like waking from a daydream.
Here, the streets were narrower, dirtier. Bars were louder, and the sidewalks were choked with people. She loved it. There wasn’t room to think. There was barely room to move. Midtown didn’t care who you were or where you were from. It was a haven for music and booze and dancing. And it was Sophie’s favorite place to pick up. She never had to ask anything beyond “your place or mine?”
Her first drink quieted the peanut gallery in her mind. No more whispers, no more censure. Just a smooth, happy buzz and the floaty feeling of thump and bass.
This was what she needed. A reminder. Of what life had been like before Mitch.
It wasn’t until she was in the bathroom alone that Levi appeared.
“You’re lucky no one else can see you,” Sophie joked.
“I know how you feel about him.”
“You’ve been pushing him on me since the beginning.” She cocked her head to the side and squinted at him. “Are you trying to get rid of me? Have you gotten bored after all this time?”
“No. I want to see you happy.”
“It’s fine. You’ve got other people to serve, right? So just go.”
“Sophie,”he admonished. Like she was nine again, hiding in the toilets so she didn’t have to face Amanda and her friends. Levi dropped his chin to catch her eye.“I like him for you. And you need someone other than me.”
Bullshit.
“Why should I rely on someone like him? You’ve been here for me more than anyone else has. When I broke my leg on the first day of school. All those nights Mom and Dad would fight, and you’d sit in the closet with me and sing until I fell asleep. And when Mom cried in her room in the mornings, you told bad jokes while I made myself breakfast.”
“Hey, my jokes are fantastic.”
“Sure, keep telling yourself that.” Sophie crossed her arms, hugging herself. This wasn’t how she pictured tonight going. “Point is, you’re the only person I’ve ever been able to rely on when shit goes south.”
