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Eleanor pulls a small purple device from her purse, and as soon as Sebastian sees it, he’s pointing to the front door.
“Mom, if you’re going to vape, you can go out on the porch.”
“You’re going to make your mother stand in the freezing cold instead of opening a window?”
With a smirk, he says, “When you’re under my roof…”
He lets the joke land, and Eleanor rolls her eyes with a grumble but kisses him on the cheek. “Come keep me company, Bee. You can tell me more about this book of yours.”
It seems the bossiness is hereditary.
It is, in fact, freezing outside. It might be the start of May, but Elmsford is north enough that once the sun goes down, it takes all the warmth with it. I think if I touched my nipples right now, they’d break off in two perfect rose-colored peaks. I’m shaking like a skeleton in an old cartoon, my knees knocking together. There’s a strong chance a ghost will come by soon to play my ribs like a xylophone.
If Eleanor feels the cold, it doesn’t show. Her movements are relaxed, and as I try to emulate the same sense of calm, I wonder if it’s something new she’s found or an evolution of the same strength and determination that walked out that door twenty long years ago.
“It’s interesting,” she says, slowly. “Between your brother and my son, I’ve heard almost everything I could about you.”
“Oh?”
“Yes, Aiden especially was extremely proud when your first book published. He brought a cake over.”
He did?
I guess I’m not the only sibling with some hidden talents.
“And Seb has mentioned, many times, what you’ve done for the house. Extraordinarily considerate, he said.” I flush from the compliment, ducking my head when Eleanor turns. “But I think I’d rather hear it from you.”
“Oh, I’ve barely done anything. He’s the one with all the big plans for this place.”
“He’s mentioned a few of them,” she says with a smile. “And you’re okay with him leading the charge?”
I’ve interviewed enough people to know a leading question when I hear one.
It’s his house,I almost say on reflex, because that’s been my line since we moved in, but I’m not sure it’s true anymore.
“He leads well,” I say instead. “And we make a good team.” Surprising, but true. “There’s also a problem, more of a project really, that he’s been helping me with, so I’m just trying to repay him, I guess. He does so much for everyone else. It’s about time someone looked out for him.”
“You’ve already given him his dream,” she says.
It plays out for me easily, his future in this house, the garden flush with plants, a new stove, one worthy of hiscooking, pipes that don’t groan every time the shower gets close to hot. A shoe rack by the door so he doesn’t track dirt in after his runs.
“He deserves more.” He deserves everything.
“Maybe he has everything he wants right now,” she says carefully.
I shiver against the chill. Not everything.
The scene in my mind switches to ones of sitting on a porch swing, watching Sebastian tending to his plants, nights tangled together on the couch, meals cooked and eaten side by side, mornings spent savoring each other.
“I’m in love with him.”
“Does he know?”
“Not in so many words.”
Sometimes he can read me like a book. It makes it impossible to hide anything from him. Surely he must know by now.
“Love is a good start, but it takes a lot more than that to make it work.” Ellie takes a long drag, gaze locked on the moon, then nods. “Come on. I’m freezing my ass off out here.” But she catches my elbow before I make it inside. “He’s more vulnerable than he lets on. If there’s anything I can ask you, it’s that you don’t say anything unless you’re sure.”
