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“No,” I say. It’s too late for that. “I guess I’m thinking of what I’m going to do next.”
It’s all Icanthink about.
“Something will come up. You have good instincts. Trust them, and it’ll work out.”
My instincts are what got me into this mess. Well, that, and a cheap bottle of Prosecco.
“Are you sure it’s okay for me to crash tonight?” As grateful as I am for the offer, if Sebastian is there, I’m not sure where I’ll even sleep. Aiden’s one-bedroom doesn’t leave many options.
“Of course it is. I told Seb to blow up the air mattress while I came to get you. If you plan on jumping his bones, try to be quiet.”
I take it back. My brother is the worst person alive. I regret ever letting him weasel the confession about my crush out of me.
It still feels surreal to be sitting in Aiden’s faded blue Ford, driving down the same old streets, name checking the stores to see what’s changed. Each breath comes with a different feeling. On the inhale, I belong here. On the exhale, I’m not sure where I belong.
All I know is that I’m not the girl who left, and I’m not sure I know the woman who’s replaced her.
“Quit it.”
For ten years, I’ve hoped my puppy-love crush would wither away, only for it to stubbornly plant roots instead. My last remaining hope is that Sebastian never actually knows about it.
“I’m serious,” I say. “You can cut it out with the Seb stuff. I got over that years ago.”
“Really?”
“Yes, really.”
“I guess there’s some other reason you’re nose deep in his jacket, then.”
I pull my face away from the leather, guilty. “I’m cold.”
Now parked, Aiden cuts the engine and, thankfully, relents. “It’s good to have you back. Getting secondhand updates from Mom was okay, but maybe I can get them from the source now?”
He smiles like he’s joking, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes, which have gained a couple of crow’s feet since I last saw him.
“Yeah, okay,” I manage, hoping it won’t become a lie.
The apartment is quiet, my nerves spiking up to elevenas I inch closer to seeing Sebastian again. I wonder if he’s changed in small ways, like Aiden, or if he’s still the same six feet of muscle and charm I remember.
I wonder if he’ll see the changes in me.
He’d be the first.
Aiden locks the door and yawns. “Water and painkillers. You know the drill.”
“Yes, yes, I know.” I duck in for a quick hug. “Go pass out. Thanks again.”
“Love you.”
“You too.”
Softly, I pad into the living room and stop short at the sight of Sebastian asleep on the couch. There’s an air mattress in the space where the coffee table should be, complete with a pillow and blanket.
Aiden’sonlyblanket, from the look of it, because while my makeshift bed looks positively cozy, Sebastian is left with no covers, arms crossed over his chest, unguarded and oh so tangible.
Touchable.
In sleep, his face is clear of worry, soft and relaxed. Younger. His hair’s almost as long as it was when I met him, flopped adorably over his eyes and curled under his ears. It swoops and waves in a way I’ve always found incredibly unfair, since it makes it impossible to look away.
