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Kage hesitated. “As do I. They loved you. They were wonderful, weren’t they?”
I nodded, swiping at a strange tear. “In the mortal realm, I did not recall parents to miss. I was an abandoned infant. Now, it’s a blessing and a curse. I am so grateful to know them, to remember them, to know I was loved. But it’s a crushing ache in my soul I am now reliving.”
“I stood at your side then,” Kage said, voice soft. “And I will do so again.” He looked away, discomposed. “The curse is strong. The Well gave up your power, and we are fortunate to do so meant seeing into the past, but to get all the answers, we have more to unravel. There is still so much I don’t remember.”
“True.” I pressed a kiss to his chest. “I’ve got to say, it’s incredible all the memories I have with Gwyn, Cy, and Asger. You boys were terrors, absolute horrors.”
Kage laughed. “We were bored, and you know it. Studies at the Sanctuary were meant to break young mages, I’m wholly convinced of it. Break them out of boredom.”
I snorted, recalling the endless, dull lessons of how to alter the color of fabric or how to sweeten the scent of our skin without oils. Only once we reached the age where the different mage talents could learn their craft did I truly enjoy Warming season lessons.
“You were right,” I whispered. “All of you knew you’d been friends for so long. I’m glad to know the degeneration did not tear you apart.”
It was unsettling all the memories flooding back. I knew how to fight, with a damn sword. All Soturi mages knew how to wield a blade. I’d likely need to refresh a bit, but the knowledge was there. I could draw it out.
“Can I be honest about something?”
“I prefer it,” he said.
“I’m a little terrified of my magic.”
I lifted my palm. Kage watched without a word. From every pore in my palm small beads of blood rose to the surface. It ached, but wasn’t painful. Only because it was my own flesh with my own power. I could recall enough to know if I attacked the magic of another mage through their blood, I would watch them die with painful cries of agony.
When I drew the blood back into my skin, Kage kissed the center of my palm.
“Your magic is brutal and fierce and beautiful.” He propped his chin onto the heel of his hand, studying me. “It is what makes you exactly who you are. Do not fear it, embrace it. To me, it is stunning.”
He spoke so gently, but there was a shadow in his gaze. With restored memories, I knew Kage Wilder’s expressions. When he was pleased, scheming, when he was discomposed like now.
With my thumb, I rubbed the crease between his brows. “What’s bothering you?”
“Pieces of the past keep falling into place. Memories are beautiful and tragic. Last night I was so overcome with relief to have you back, I overlooked something important. To dream of it all again brought it to the forefront.”
I rolled onto my shoulder to face him. “What is it?”
“A piece of our reality that does not belong. Can you spot it?”
I didn’t know what he was talking about. We were here, we knew of each other. True, the others would still be lost and have scatteredmemories, and Kage’s mother and father were still locked in a cursed sleep. “I don’t know what you mean.”
His face was as stone, his voice like a knife. “In all those memories—the true past—I do not have a stepbrother, Adira.”
CHAPTER 35
Adira
We dressed separately,and I was glad for it. His words would not leave me. Fear settled to the damn marrow of my bones the longer I replayed them. No doubt, if they unnerved me, I could not imagine the unease plaguing Kage.
There were pieces of the past that were still shrouded, faces and voices I knew were part of my life. It was possible the odd absence of Destin was part of the fog.
I wasn’t sure I trusted the thought, but Kage didn’t need more of my wide-eyed, panicked list making while I puzzled through our next steps.
Magic. I felt it thrum through my veins like a warm stream. It was as though a new fullness had settled into my heart, restoring a crack I’d not known was there.
Seated at the table in the main room of Kage’s royal chambers, I took up one of the quills. With memories of my mage life, I knew much better how to handle them, but I would still die a bloody death on the hill that mortal writing utensils were superior.
My list was currently pathetic.
