Page 111 of Balls to the Walls


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“We cannot risk moving the blanket until I have delayed the timer. Sasha will be here soon and we will move fast. Are you ready for this? It is very dangerous. I cannot guarantee your safety.”

“Ready as I’ll ever be,” I grinned. Now might be a good time to tell him that I was basically indestructible. “You don’t know this about me, but…I sort of can’t die.”

“Everyone dies,” he said without hesitation.

“Right, but not me. Trust me, I’ve tested it out many times. I’ve been blown up by an RPG, survived a very high jump out of a hospital, and even got shot in the chest. Trust me, I’m good.”

He walked slowly toward me, giving me thatyou’re fucking crazylook. “This is bomb. There is no coming back when the shrapnel hits your body. You will die either very fast or die very slow with metal pieces sticking out of hundreds of spots on your body. It is very painful way to go.”

“And I realize that, but trust me, I’m all good.”

He shrugged and turned around. “It is, how you say…your funeral.”

That got a good laugh out of me. “Yeah, been there, done that. Got the coffin.”

Sasha pulled up moments later, squealing to a stop on the side of the road. He walked to us with purpose, knowing that whatever his boss needed, he would provide. After a quick explanation, we were ready to go.

“Alright, here is the plan,” Ivan said. “Mr. Helmer will very slowly push the stroller over to that drain. I will watch the bomb and advise you. Sash will hold his hand on baby and ensure he doesn’t move. Once in position, I will set the delay and give you the signal. Then?—”

“Wait.” I raised my hand. “What is the signal?”

“I will nod.”

“But what if you accidentally nod while delaying the detonator?”

“He is right,” Sasha agreed. “We need a better signal.”

“Okay,” Ivan sighed. “I will say monkey nuggets.”

“Is there a story to go with that?” I grinned.

“There is, but you will never know what it is. When I give the signal, Sasha will lift the baby at the same time Mr. Helmer will shove the stroller down the hole. Then we will all run. I guess we will have two seconds. Three, at most.”

“Alright, let’s do this,” I said, clapping my hands together. This was going to be good. We’d save a baby and be heroes of the day.

I placed my hands on the stroller and waited for Ivan’s signal. He got down on the ground and checked the device one last time.

“Alright, very slowly now.”

As gently as I could, I started to push the stroller down the sidewalk. Each step was slower than I thought, giving me time to think about all I had left behind. It made me miss my team and wish that I could be back home with them. However, I wasn’t so sure Ivan would let me go. We had a good rapport, and if I said I wanted to leave, he might break his streak and slit my throat.

“Stop,” Ivan said. “This is good. Be ready.”

He got down on his back and stared up at the device. Very carefully, he worked on the detonator. I couldn’t see exactly what he was doing from my position, but this would have been a great learning opportunity for me.

“Almost there.”

My palms were sweating as I waited for him to finish. This next part was fairly simple. I just had to shove the stroller inside and run before the bomb went off. That was easy. No harm, no foul. Well, aside from the fact that I might blow up.

“The delay is set. On my word, everyone move in.”

“Wait!” I shouted, wincing at how loud my voice was. We all peeked into the stroller, relieved that the baby didn’t wake up. “Just…need to wipe off my hands first.” I rubbed them up and down my jeans, then cracked my neck for good measure. Once that was done, there was no more delaying.

“Okay, I’m good.”

I nodded to Sasha, who nodded to Ivan.

“Ready? Monkey nuggets!” he shouted.

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