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“Hey, bud, should we get you in the car?”
“What about my bear, Mama?”
“Oh, baby, we don’t have it. We’ll get you a new one.”
“But I need him,” he pleaded.
“Baby, we can’t go back for the bear. I know this is hard for you, but we’ll find you something even better.”
I knew it wouldn’t help. In fact, if anything, it only made things worse. The fat tears rolling down his cheeks only made me feel like the worst mom ever. I scooped him up in my arms and carried him out to the car, trying to keep him calm as I buckled him in. Someone had gotten a car seat for him, so at least I knew he was as safe as possible.
“I’ll sit in the back with him,” Rae promised.
I bent down and gave him a kiss, hating that I was leaving him again. “I’ll be in the other vehicle the whole time. If you need me, you just have Rae call. Okay?”
He nodded, sniffling as he buried his face in my neck. His tears dampened my shirt and his fists clung to me, refusing to let me go.
“Baby, we need to leave.”
I had to tear myself from his grasp. Tears streamed down his face as he called for me. I felt like a horrible mother. My heart ached at hiscries, but I knew this was for the best. The danger was very real, and I had to believe that going in a separate vehicle would keep him safe.
Wiping the tears from my eyes, I got into the back with Jack. The seats were down and he was lying on the floor, shaking with fever. This was going to be the longest drive of my life.
32
JACK
“The antibiotics aren’t working!We need something stronger!”
Her voice rattled around in my brain, somewhere between the pain in my side and the pounding in my head. Every bump in the road intensified the agony rushing through my body. I just wanted to pass out and drift off into another world, one where the pain was over.
“Jack, you have to stay with me.”
I peeled my eyes open through the burning haze, seeing the worried face of an angel staring down at me. Those same eyes were with me in the ambulance, forcing me to keep going when it felt like the world was done with me.
“Stay with me, okay?”
For her, I would do anything, but I was so fucking tired. My body hurt unlike anything I’d felt before. I could still feel the electric current flowing under my skin, almost as if I was still strapped to that table.
“We need to get him to a hospital.”
“That’s not gonna happen.” I heard Johnny’s voice barking orders and tried to smile. He was always taking charge, whereas Jason was more passive, allowing others to run things. I was gonna miss them.
“Parker,” I mumbled, hoping she could hear me.
She grabbed my hand and bent lower, her ear just a breath from my lips. “What did you say?”
“Parker,” I mumbled again, using every ounce of strength to push the words past my lips. “He’s…okay.”
“He’s fine, Jack. Thanks to you.”
Something cool brushed across my forehead, momentarily easing the burn in my body. But it was never enough. The pain always returned. The heat pulsing through my body grew with every second that passed. I wasn’t going to make it. I just wished I could tell her and ease her mind.
I pushed through the drought in my mouth, hoping to make her feel just a little better. “You’re safe,” I whispered, feeling her fingers interlock with mine.
I was no good for her. My life, the uncertainty surrounding me would only ruin her chance to start over.
“Jack, you’re going to be okay. You just have to fight it.”
