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I pulled the smoke between my lips and inhaled the nicotine straight into my lungs. The relief was stark, but not enough to completely kill the need. It was only a bandaid, and with time, that need would only grow. I was still too close to the edge, no matter how hard I fought it.
“Christ, you’re a fucking addict now?”
“I’m what you made me.” I took another drag and closed my eyes. Tonight was going to be hell.
“You were supposed to go in and get the job done—not fall in line with Gelbero’s crew.”
“And what did you think was going to happen?” I snapped. “You sent me in to do a job and I had to fit the part. I did what was needed.”
“And now you’re too fucking addicted to see straight,” he scoffed. “Fucking useless.”
I put out the cigarette on his seat right next to his hand. His eyes met mine in challenge, but I wasn’t playing that game anymore. I would finish the job only because I was already in too deep. This hadto count for something. I wouldn’t allow my addiction to be for nothing.
“The next fucking time you see me, you’d better be arresting that prick. After that, you can find someone else to do the job. I’m out.”
I reached for the handle, but he grabbed my jacket, yanking me back. “You’re out when I say you’re out.”
With deadly calm, I pried his fingers from my jacket. “I’m out when I say. The days of me being your muscle are over. Find someone else to do your dirty work.”
I flung the door open and got out, walking right past his new muscle. Despite feeling like my skin was crawling, I felt pretty damn good about my newfound distance from Rafe. And I was even happier than ever that I took this job instead of Johnny or Jason. They were the only men I could rely on, the only two that ever gave a shit about me. I’d gladly take the hit for them if it meant all of us could walk away in the end.
I got in my truck and tore out of the parking lot, leaving Rafe in the dust. The job was long from being over, but knowing I was done once this was over gave me a sense of peace I hadn’t felt in years. When this was over, I was going straight. Maybe I’d retire for good and settle down on a beach with a margarita in my hand. Then again, maybe the peace of the mountains would be better for me. At least I could still carry a gun without anyone looking at me funny.
Feeling lighter than I had in years, I headed back to the house. One year. That’s all the time I was giving myself to finish this job. If the job wasn’t finished, I was walking away.
One year.
5
SKYLAR
Ms. Sally metme at the door, stepping outside before Parker could see me. “Are you okay?”
“Yes,” I smiled. “I’m not gonna lie, it was really scary.”
“What happened? All Gina said was that someone attacked you.”
“Yeah, it was…” Honestly, I didn’t want to talk about it. I just wanted to move on.
“I’m not trying to pry. I just want to make sure you’re okay. Is there anything I can do for you?”
“No, I just want to go home and kick my feet up.”
“That’s understandable.”
“How much do I owe you for the overtime?”
She waved me off. “Please, don’t worry about it. I’m just glad you’re safe.”
She opened the door again and let me into the building where one of the aids was working on a popsicle stick project with Parker. She glanced up and smiled. “Parker, your mom’s here. How about we finish this tomorrow?”
“Okay.” The moment he looked at me, the panic simmering in my chest increased tenfold. I loved my son more than anything in the world. I always assumed that if something went wrong, it would bebecause of where I lived, not because I was at the hospital. But after what happened today, I was even more terrified that I wouldn’t be able to protect him. Killers walked the earth all around us. There was no possible way to keep him safe at all times.
I took a deep breath and held out my arms for him, catching him as he flung himself at me. I squeezed him tight, sending up a prayer that I could protect him. “Hey, buddy,” I sniffled back the tears. “How was school today?”
“It was so good! I count to forty!”
“You did?” I said, laughing at the silly grin on his face.
