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“She killed herself.” I finally said the words out loud—admitted to myself that she didn’t want to be in this world…that I had failed her for a second time.
“Why?”
“Because she couldn’t handle the pain. We grew up with terrible parents. And when they were gone, I was left to raise my kid sister. I thought I had it all under control. It was hard, you know, but we had each other. And then it all went wrong one night. She was hurt, and I wasn’t there.”
“That’s not your fault.”
“It was,” I said with a self-deprecating smile. “I was supposed to pick her up. Anyway, I lost my shit and nearly killed the guy that attacked her. The judge gave me the choice of going into the military or going to jail. I thought it would be safer for her if I went into the military. She would have a family around her, people who understood how hard it was when someone left.”
“But that didn’t happen,” she surmised.
“For a while. I thought things were getting better, and then one day I got a call…” I huffed out a laugh. “You know, I always thought it would be her getting the call. Or someone would drive up to the house and tell her that I’d been killed in action. I never thought…”
She shifted her leg, slinging it across my lap until she was seated right over my cock. Her hands came up to rest on both sides of my face as she stared intently into my eyes. “Why do I get the feeling that you’re not at all who you appear to be?”
“This is who I am,” I answered gruffly, my hands gripping her hips, digging into her flesh.
“It can’t be. I see this good man underneath all this. I don’t understand…”
“What?”
Her eyes flitted back and forth as she stared at me. Then she crushed her lips to mine, kissing me with so much need that it was impossible to deny her. My hands slid under her top, memorizing every inch of her skin. But it wasn’t enough. Just a taste of her would never satisfy the hunger growing inside me. I wanted her more than any woman before her.
I spun her, dropping her down on the couch as I nestled my body between her thighs. My cock pulsed with the need to be inside her, to feel her warmth wrapped around me. I didn’t need to feel it to know it would be like touching heaven.
I jerked upright, stopping myself before I could take things any further. I couldn’t do this to her. I wouldn’t be like Rico, taking advantage of the situation and taking something I had no right to. I couldn’t offer her more than a night or two. This job was all that mattered, and she was tangled up in every aspect of it, which would only get herkilled when I had to choose between doing what was best for her or finishing the job.
“We should?—”
“Mama?”
Sky lurched upright, straightening her top as she tried to pull herself together before her son saw her. “In here, baby.”
Through sleepy eyes, the kid appeared around the corner, holding his bear in the crook of his arm. That was enough to kill my erection. No matter how much I wanted her, I would never mess with her kid. I stood and headed into the kitchen.
“I’ll make some coffee.”
I got lost in thought as I started breakfast and made the coffee. The gnawing itch under my skin was absent today, making it easier to focus on the task at hand. This was another reason I couldn’t be with Sky. I was a junkie, and even though I was clean, there was always the possibility that I would relapse. The need to shoot up would rear its ugly head again, leaving her to pick up the pieces if I relapsed.
“Are we still going to the zoo?”
I took a sip of my coffee and flipped the bacon in the pan, ignoring the woman sitting at my table. I was fucking crazy to bring her over here last night, and even crazier to allow her to stay the night. That couldn’t happen again.
“I don’t know, baby. I have to check on the house first.”
I didn’t need to turn around to see the disappointment on the kid’s face. I shut off the burner and dished the eggs out on three plates. As much as I tried to resist, I snuck a peek at Skylar, seeing the stress on her face. It was her only day off and she had promised Parker she’d take him to the zoo, but with everything that happened last night, it was clear that was the last thing she wanted to do.
“Okay.”
The sad look on his face had me doing the stupidest fucking thing I’d done since last night. “How about I check out the house with your mom, and then I’ll take both of you to the zoo?”
His face lit up instantly, but Skylar stiffened. Shit, I had overstepped. This was exactly what I hadn’t wanted to do.
“Yes!” he shouted, pumping his fist in the air. “I’m gonna go to the bathroom!”
He leapt out of his chair and ran to the bathroom, leaving me alone to deal with the fallout of my stupidity.
“Sorry about that. I was just trying to help.”
