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LAURA
I was standingin the basement of my house in a shower curtain.
A shower curtain!
Meanwhile, the sexiest man I’d ever met was with me, grinning at me and shooting me these sexy looks. And this was how I looked. Why couldn’t I at least be dressed? Sweats would have been better than this. I still had shampoo in my hair and not even a skimpy pair of underwear. A man wasn’t supposed to see a woman’s private parts like this. There was a procedure. There was primping and waxing and…at the very least, there wasn’t plaster dust on a woman’s vagina!
I smiled at him, pretending I was totally cool with this as Lee was hauled up out of the hole. But the moment his eyes went back to her, I started freaking out again. Maybe I could wrap the curtain up between my legs and somehow wrap myself up like a present.
Like a diaper.
Yep, that’s what it would look like. So, instead of my vagina hanging out, I’d look like an adult in a diaper. This was not my day. It was bad enough that my house collapsed, but now the man of my dreams was watching me like this!
Why couldn’t an old man save me? At least I wouldn’t care if he saw anything down there. Well, for the most part. It would still beembarrassing, but at least I wouldn’t have to worry about him accidentally touching me when I wasn’t prepared properly. It was like a Thanksgiving turkey. You had to dress it properly. Presentation was everything.
“Ready?”
“Hmm?” I said, whipping my head back to meet his gaze.
He had the cable in his hands and was lowering the harness for me. Oh God, this was it. The moment I stepped into that, I would be on display for all the world.
“Um…maybe you should go first.”
He chuckled at that. Fuck, he had a dimple. It wasn’t a big one, but it was noticeable and I was a sucker for dimples. “See, the whole point of me coming down here to rescue you is that you leave before me.”
“Yeah, but I’m not really into that whole man rescues woman crap.”
“Ah, so you’re a feminist,” he grinned.
“Not at all,” I snorted, making the most ungodly sound in the world. “Um…what I meant is that your life is just as important as mine.”
“Well, I appreciate that, but since this is a rescue and you’re the one stuck in the basement, it stands to reason that you should go first.”
“Uh-huh,” I nodded, trying to find a way around that. “But if I went first, thenyouwould be stuck in the basement.”
“It’s a conundrum,” he laughed. “Seriously, let’s get you hoisted up.”
He bent over and was now at eye level with my vagina. I prayed he wasn’t paying attention, that maybe he would be suddenly blinded, but it would only last for a few minutes, and then he would be able to see again. That happened, right?
I felt him tug on the curtain, covering up my front as I stepped into the harness. My face flamed in embarrassment at what he just saw. This was so wrong. If a man was going down on me, he wasn’t supposed to be tucking me in.
“There. That should…” I felt his grin, but couldn’t look at him. I was mortified.
“Just hang on here,” he motioned to the cable, “and Brock will pull you up.”
“Wait!” I called out, needing to say something before this went any further. “This…can never be spoken of again.”
“Cross my heart,” he grinned at me. “But I’m not going to pretend that I didn’t see what I saw,” he whispered conspiratorially. “Brock!”
I jumped as he called out for his friend, then felt myself being hoisted in the air. If ever there was a day for a do-over, it was today. The bright light that shone through the massive hole in my wall was the first thing I saw. The next was the level of destruction that would make it impossible for me to stay here until there were massive repairs.
Thankfully, I wasn’t going to be responsible for fixing up the house. Edith would take care of all of that, so that was one less thing on my mind. However, I wasn’t entirely sure how I was going to replace all the things that had been damaged. Of course I had insurance, but that could take forever. At least I still had my trusty shower curtain.
Brock—I assumed it was him since he was the only other man up here—grabbed the cable and swung me over to a more secure location. With my feet finally on the ground in my blue rubber boots, I felt the anxiety inside ease just a little.
I didn’t realize what was happening, so lost in my thoughts that I didn’t feel Brock pulling at the harness. I gasped as a flush of air washed over my lower region, reminding me that Steak Boy had tucked me in.
I really had to stop calling him Steak Boy.
