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“To watch the show,” he said, his face twisting in confusion. “I thought that was the point.”
“Go away,” I said slowly.
He thought about it a moment, then shook his head. “Nah, this is way too much fun.”
Frustrated, I turned away from him and took a deep breath. “Alright, we’re going to try it again. This time, open your fucking ears and listen.”
“You know, I’m seriously reconsidering moving in with you. You’re kind of mean.”
“I’m mean?” I said incredulously.
“A little. I never saw this side of you before.”
That was fucking hilarious because this was me all the time. “Just pick up your end of the couch.”
We both bent and lifted the heavy monstrosity into the air.
“Lift with your legs,” Scottie reminded us.
I ignored him and started moving forward. “Alright, tilt to the right,” I told Brock.
“Pivot.”
“A little further.”
“Pivot.”
I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to drown out Scottie’s voice. “Alright, we’re almost inside.”
“Pivot.”
I dropped the fucking couch and spun around, tackling Scottie to the ground, slamming my fist into his face. He fucking laughed at me the entire time I was beating his ass. It wasn’t until Brock climbed over the couch and hauled me off Scottie that my sanity finally returned. Heaving as I stared at the man on the ground, I felt Brock gripping me tightly around the chest as he held me back from behind.
“Dude, you need to calm down.”
“I can’t fucking stand him. He was standing behind me saying pivot!”
“Yeah, that’s…”
“Would you fucking let me go?”
“Are you going to attack him again?”
“That depends,” I said, trying to tear Brock’s hands from my chest. “If he stays, I might not be able to control myself.”
Scottie sat up, wiping the blood from his lip. “You’re too tense. You need to get laid. How long has it been?”
“If I’m tense it’s because you keep talking in my fucking ear!”
“Okay,” Brock said, spinning me around, then releasing me and shoving me toward the couch. “We’re almost through. Can we finish this and move on?”
Shaking off my frustrations, I nodded and adjusted my clothes that were now skewed from attacking the asshat behind me. “Let’s just finish this,” I grumbled.
“You really are tense,” he muttered, climbing back on the couch to get through the door.
He nodded at me as he got in position, then we both bent and tried to lift the thing. I strained, but the damn thing wouldn’t move.
“Are you lifting?”
