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“Sure. I can do that.”
I grabbed the spaghetti out of the cabinet while he grabbed the pot and filled it with water. We kept bumping into each other as we moved around the kitchen. Both of us flinched every time we touched. I couldn’t be imagining that.
When I reached for the salt at the same time as him, our bodies collided and we were both caught staring into each other’s eyes. My breath caught at the way he was looking at me. There was no mistaking the intensity of his stare. Oh, God. He was going to kiss me.
I pulled back, ducking my head as I leaned against the counter. “Maybe we should talk.”
I wasn’t at all sure about this, but I couldn’t take the tension. Edith said to be sure of my feelings, but waiting was only making matters worse. We needed to clear the air.
“Yeah, we probably should.”
My head snapped up and our eyes met. Yeah, he was thinking thesame thing. This was the turning point in our friendship, and if he left me, I knew I wouldn’t survive life without him. Just the thought of losing him brought tears to my eyes.
“Wilder, you know we’ve been friends for a long time. But for me, it hasn’t been that way.”
Okay, that made me frown. Maybe I misread the look in his eyes. “What do you mean?”
He cleared his throat, rubbing his hand across the back of his neck. It was a nervous tick he’d had for years. “What I mean is that…I haven’t always felt friendship for you.”
I stood there, paralyzed by the thought of what he’d say next. I kept scrambling to come up with what I was going to say. Maybe when he said it, I would just know. And if I didn’t…shit.
“I’ve been in love with you since high school,” he said, finally putting it out there. “I never told you because I didn’t want to ruin what we have. And to be honest, I wasn’t sure you felt anything different. I’m not even sure I should have said anything, but if I didn’t take this chance…if I didn’t tell you how I felt, I knew I would regret it for the rest of my life. So…this is me telling you that I love you. Every woman I’ve dated, it hasn’t worked out because none of them were you.”
He stepped closer, not stopping until he was right in front of me. My breath caught in my chest as he slowly raised his hand, brushing a soft caress across my cheek. The warmth of his hand made my temperature spike, but it wasn’t because I was feeling tingly inside. I was about to cry because deep inside my heart, I knew I didn’t have the same feelings for him.
“Every fucking day of my life is filled with your beautiful eyes and your laugh. I count down the days until I see you again—until your arms are wrapped around me and I can hold you. It’s always been you, Wilder.”
His lips descended on mine in a passionate kiss that felt so right, but so wrong at the same time. He was everything to me, and in a way, this felt like it was always meant to happen. But there were no tingles rushing down my spine, no butterflies erupting in my belly. He was an excellent kisser, but the magic wasn’t there. And that broke my heart.
When he stepped back, his thumb brushed against my lower lip and his eyes turned sad. I didn’t have to say it. He already knew.
“I wish I felt the same,” I whispered. “I should feel the same. We’ve been together for so long that this should be natural.”
“But it’s not,” he said, a sad smile filling his face. “I get it.”
Tears filled my eyes as I looked into his sad eyes, wishing I could change things. “You’re not going to leave me, are you?”
“What are you talking about?”
A sob caught in my throat as pain radiated through my chest. “I can’t lose you. I still need you.”
“Wilder, you’ll never lose me,” he grinned, brushing his thumb across my cheek again. “It sucks that you don’t feel the same, but I think I always knew you were meant for someone else. That’s why I never said anything.”
I shook my head as the tears fell faster. “I heard you earlier at the house. I heard you say that you thought about asking me out. And…I was afraid. You’ve always been there for me. I don’t know how to do this without you.”
“You’ll never have to,” he sighed, pulling me into his arms. “Hey, I promise I’ll get over this and things will go back to the way they were.”
I squeezed him tighter, feeling his chin rest on my head as he tucked me in closer. Yes, things were okay right now, but what happened tonight and tomorrow? How did we keep going when things were out in the open now?
“I think…you should stay with Dash tonight.”
“What?” I asked, pulling away from him. I swiped the tears from my eyes, feeling him pull away from me already. “You want me to leave?”
A pained expression crossed his face. “It’s for the best. If you stay, it’ll only be harder. Besides, I’m gonna head back to work.”
“Already?” My heart thundered in my chest at the thought of losing him. He was running away, but what if he never returned? “You said you wouldn’t leave me.”
“I’m not, but I think it’s best for both of us to have some space. I need to come to grips with the fact that you’re going to be withsomeone else. Maybe not today, but you’ll eventually move on and I’ll have to watch you with someone else. I just need time.”
