Page 137 of Tell Me You Love Me


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I groan, bowing my head as I think about my next response. I can’t exactly call him out on it until I talk to Brynn. It’s a huge accusation to make—a crazy one—without confirming my suspicions first, and it’s entirely possible I’m jumping to conclusions, but my gut tells me I’m right.

My head spins as I try to make sense of how someone I thought I knew so well could do something so sick.

I close my eyes, thinking back to that night, but my memory is fuzzy. For me, it was just another lame high school dance—a chance to drink, hook up, and have fun with my friends. Funny how the same moment in time can be inconsequential to one person while being pivotal for another.

I vaguely recall Knox going stag, but I can’t be sure. Shortly after the dance, he asked Carrie out and they’d been an item ever since. Now I wonder if that was calculated. Maybe in his post-assault paranoia, he thought suddenly having a girlfriend would be a good diversion.

Fuck, I feel like a crazy person.

Am I really accusing him of this?

I need to talk to Brynn. It’s the only way to know for sure, but it would certainly explain why she suddenly pushed me away. It’s not like my behavior that night helped matters. I gave her a reason not to trust me. And so, when I shocked her by telling her the cuff belonged to Knox, all her old fears and insecurities rose to the surface.

She didn’t think I’d believe her.

CHAPTER 41

BRYNN

The scent of grilledmeat fills the air as I step out onto the back porch behind my mother. Smoke curls out of the grill where my father is flipping burgers, the sizzling sound mingling with the conversations floating around me and the soft music trickling through the outdoor speakers. Somewhere in the background, a dog barks and children scream. It’s a normal summer afternoon, the kind I love. But I stand on the concrete, numbly staring out at the familiar faces clustered around the folding tables in the backyard. I begged off the first hour of the barbeque, using my freshly broken heart as an excuse to be antisocial until my mother practically dragged me out of bed, threw a sundress at me, and told me to get dressed.

Now I groan as I squint into the sun.

Teagan raises a hand, motioning for me to join him and the boys, and though several girls sit with them, they’re coupled up, and I’m not in the mood to be reminded that I can no longer claim that title.

A burly figure sinks down beside Teagan, and my stomach wrenches. I’m also not in the mood to go anywhere near Knox if I can help it.

It’s my fault he’s here. I should’ve told Teagan. I’m not sure what I’m waiting for, but I just couldn’t seem to choke the words out any time I tried.

Our eyes lock across the wide expanse of yard, and maybe I’m imagining things, but I swear I see nerves flicker in the dark depths of his eyes.

Turning, I quickly dart for the back door, my stomach in my throat as my mother catches my arm and turns me right back around again.

I focus on breathing as I cross the backyard, sinking down into a chair beside my little sisters at the furthest table while I try to calm my racing heart. The only way I’m getting back inside is if I tell my mother everything, and I’d rather not spoil her party, so instead, I try my best to get through the meal.

I keep my gaze trained only at the table in front of me, offering my mother a tight smile as she takes the seat across from me and pushes a plate of food at me like I’m a child. I want to barf at the thought of eating, but I know she’s worried and won’t let up until I do, so I take a few bites.

Teagan’s laughter floats toward me, but I avoid gazing in his direction to see what’s so funny. As far as I’m concerned, their little table doesn’t exist. Although he makes them pretty hard to ignore when he appears a minute later and begs me to join them. When I refuse, I know he takes it personally. He thinks I’m still angry with him, and maybe I am, but it’s as if all those walls right after the incident have risen again. I feel more alone now than I have in a long time. I’m on an island by myself, the waves of my secrets swiftly eroding my shores. Only this time, it’s not because I’m afraid ofwhathappened; I’m afraid ofwho.

When I can’t stand another minute longer, I push my plate away and rise at the same time the music from the stereo turns off, blasting us into silence.

My mom startles and starts to rise just as a new song clicks on and she settles back down. “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough” blasts through the backyard, a startling contrast to the pop music playing previously.

I rise from my seat and turn to head for the house when Jace steps out of the French doors and onto the patio.

I freeze. The breath catches in my lungs at the sight of him. He’s dressed casually, his dark hair perfectly messy from running his hands through it, and even from here, his blue eyes find mine, piercing straight through me.

I have no idea what he’s doing here. For a moment, I think maybe he and Teagan have made amends, and maybe my brother asked him to come. But a quick glance in my brother’s direction and the crease in his brow tells me that’s not the case.

I expect him to close the gap, to come closer and ask me if we can talk. But instead, he stands there, his eyes on me the whole time until I finally I ask in a quiet voice that barely rises above the music, “What are you doing here?”

The corner of his mouth quirks in one of his breathtaking smirks as he says, “I’ll skip the part where I ask if you’re available for bar mitzvahs or birthday parties because that won’t make sense, and go right to the part where I tell you I’ve forgotten something back home.”

I frown, confused.

He waves a hand toward me and says, “This is the part where you ask what it was I forgot, and then I say, I realize I forgot to kiss you.”

“What the hell?” someone says from behind, but Jace’s gaze never wavers from mine as he takes another step closer while my mind tries to catch up.

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