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Music trickles softly through the speakers of Jace’s truck. I try to focus on the melody, letting the soft notes soothe the jagged pill of the memories lodged in my throat.
“I mean, don’t you ever wonder, man?” Chris asks Jace, continuing his tirade. “Have you ever told him, Brynn? Or is it some kind of secret?”
My stomach knots, bringing with it a rush of nausea, and I know what’s coming. Squeezing the door handle with one hand, I brace for the coming storm and close my eyes. I might not be able to stop the memories, but maybe I can control them. I can skip past the worst of them and fast forward to the moment Jacebecame my enemy, the moment his words imprinted the shame I felt into my soul like a bruise I could never heal.
I stumble from the locker room out into a moonlit sky with my heart in my throat. Stars twinkle overhead like diamonds, witness to my humiliation.
A glance behind me confirms I’m alone, thank God.
Regardless, I pick up the pace and run. My dress slides down my chest, so I clutch at it, holding it up with the busted strap. Something is caught on it, but I don’t stop to check it out as I focus on moving my feet.
Hair falls from my updo, curtaining my face. I can only imagine what I look like, amazed that in my tumultuous state I even have it in me to care. Tears blur my vision, turning the passing stadium into a watery image as I head for the student parking lot.
My breath rasps in and out of my lungs, my feet pounding a steady cadence when I slam into a brick wall.
I have a moment of delirium, fearing it’shimand a scream builds in my lungs until I glance up to find Jace Taggart.
I catch my balance while his gaze soaks me in, then quickly darts away again as my stomach bottoms out. Does he know what happened? Or does he think . . .
I don’t finish that thought as I hurry to push past him, my heels clicking on the asphalt like the staccato rhythm of my heart. A smattering of students leaving the dance early trickle into the parking lot ahead. I lift my gaze in search of my car when his voice draws me up short and I freeze. “Can I get sloppy seconds?”
Ice fills my veins.
Mortification and shame wash through me.
My eyes burn with the fresh sting of tears and as I glance at him over my shoulder, a smirk curls his lips as his eyes find me.
I suck in a breath and I allow my shaking limbs to carry me the rest of the way to my car. Once I open the door, I sink inside and press my forehead to the steering wheel. A guttural moan escapes my lips as the dam bursts open. My tears flood the tight confines of the car as a keening sound rips through my chest.
“Dude, fucking leave it already.”
The harsh tone of Jace’s voice cleaves the memory in two, and I jerk my head to find him staring at me, his blue eyes clouded with concern. It takes me a moment to remember where I am and what was happening before I zoned out.
On our way home.
Chris and his hypothesizing.
Jace must’ve had enough.
His brow furrows as I swallow and casually release my hand from his, feigning an itch on the back of my neck at the same time he pulls into a parking spot outside their apartment complex.
I waste no time as I unbuckle my seatbelt and get out, climbing the steps quickly, hovering in front of the door before Chris and Jace join me. When they unlock it, we pile inside, and I’m instantly grateful it’s empty. All of the guys must’ve left while we were at the restaurant.
Chris announces he’s headed to his room, and I do the same before Jace grabs my arm, stopping me. “Hey.” His voice is so soft, it tightens my throat. “What’s going on? Talk to me.”
“Nothing,” I croak. “I just need a minute.”
“Did I do something wrong?”
I shake my head, unable to speak through the chokehold of emotions gripping me.
You didn’t do anything wrong.
It’s not you, it’s me.
I’m the problem.
I feel the tenuous hold on my tears falter as my jaw wobbles. “I just . . . I need . . .” I trail off before yanking my hand from his. “I’m sorry,” I say as I turn and head inside his bedroom and close the door.
