AllFreeNovel
Share Us
"Yes," I answer.
"Good." He gives me a small smile. "Just know that my team and I are already working on things to get you back to your normal life as soon as possible." It almost feels strange thinking of going back to a life where he's not in it, which only makes me wonder what'll happen once all the bad guys are defeated.
"So since you won't tell me about what's currently happening, can we talk about what'll happen with us after all of this is resolved?" I ask slowly.
I'm not even sure what I'm expecting, to be honest. Trent and I are so different. He's much older than me and on a completely different path in life than I am. Maybe I'm being a bit unrealistic to think that someone like him wants to be with a college student still trying to figure their life out. But despite that, I know I like being around him, and I like the way he's treated me in the time that we've been around each other. Each day we spend together seems to bring us closer together, evenmore so now that I know he's been doing all of this to protect me when he didn't have to.
He shrugs. "I can't really answer that, Morgan," he says, and my heart drops. "Technically, I wasn't even supposed to touch you or get involved with you. I've already crossed so many lines while trying to get the information I need, so it's best if I don't complicate that any further."
I try to keep my face neutral even though his answer fills me with disappointment. Here I am, already thinking about a future with him, and he doesn't even see me in his. The logical part of me knows there's a high possibility that everything he's done this whole time has just been him doing his job. I mean, he was playing the part that he needed to in order to do what he had to do. And maybe it's unrealistic of me to think that something could actually grow from this even though our lives in general aren't compatible. Knowing all of that doesn't stop me from wanting to try, though. And it doesn't stop the hurt that knifes through my chest at the rejection.
"If that's what you think, maybe you should've thought about that before you took my virginity," I say bitterly before I can even stop myself.
He frowns at me. "You're right. And I would have had I known that you were," he states. After a moment, he sighs deeply. "Now that you know the truth, I think it's best if things are kept professional. I don't want to lead you on or make you believe that our relationship is something that it isn't."
"So, what, am I supposed to just forget everything we've done, then?" I ask, anger licking up my spine as I move away from him. "You're the one who initiated all of this, Trent. You pursued me first. You kissed me first. You made a move first. You don't get to make it seem as if I've made all this up in my head." My hands clench into fists as I glare at him. "You simply could've kept this friendly, but you're the one who pushed itto the next level. So don't sit here and make it seem as if I'm misunderstanding our connection or something."
No one says anything for a long moment before he bows his head, slowly nodding. "Okay," he starts. "You're right. I apologize." He blows out a long breath and runs a hair through his dark hair. "I'll be honest; I don't know what'll happen when this is over. My job isn't compatible with relationships. Aside from traveling a lot, anyone I'm connected to will always be in danger because that's what comes with the job. I'm okay with that because that's what I chose for myself, but I can't bring myself to willingly make someone else a permanent target just because they chose me."
"But shouldn't I be able to make that decision?" I ask, folding my arms across my chest.
"You're nineteen, Morgan. Do you really want to spend the rest of your life looking over your shoulder just because you're dating me?" He gestures around the room. "I mean, look at your current situation. Do you want to move around in life wondering if someone on a rooftop is waiting to snipe you in retaliation for something I've done? Or if something is sitting on the street waiting to snatch you up to use you as bait against me?" He shakes his head. "I don't want that for you. And you shouldn't want that for yourself either."
I grind my teeth as his words settle into my mind. They make sense, but that doesn't make them any easier to hear. I sigh softly.
"I don't want to talk about this anymore," I say softly. It's already been a long day, and even though I'm glad to finally hear from him, he always seems to bring bad news and disappointment along with him. I don't want to think about the dangers outside, and I don't want to have to face the truth of our current status. It's obvious that I was only a fling for him, something to do to pass the time while he did his job. And oncethis is over, he'll go back to his regular life of hunting down bad guys while I'm forced to continue living mine as if he hadn't bulldozed his way through it.
"I understand." He stands to his feet. "Do you want me to go?"
The smart answer would be to tell him yes, but I can't bring myself to do so. "No," I murmur. It's probably emotional suicide to spend more time than necessary with this man, but something about him makes it hard for me to turn away. "Can you stay with me tonight?"
"Do you think that's a good idea?" he asks with a raised brow.
"Probably not, but apparently, I'm all about making bad decisions lately. One more couldn't hurt," I muse.
He stares at me for a long time. "I don't want to confuse you more than I have."
I take a few steps forward to close the space between us. "I just want to feel safe tonight, that's all." I look up into his chocolate pools, a mixture of heartbreak and longing swirling in the pit of my stomach at the thought of our time together quickly winding down. "Can you just...I don't know, hold me tonight?"
He nods. "Yeah, I can do that," he agrees.
I change into a nightgown while he strips down to his tank top and boxers before getting into bed with me, his hand rubbing small circles on my stomach as I press my body against his. I have no idea what's in store for us or if there'll even be anything left to hold on to when this is over.
But for now, I'll take the safety and comfort that envelops me until the heartbreak train has reached its final destination to devastate me.
17
TRENT
Iwatch Morgan as she crosses the campus to head to another class, guilt weighing heavy on my chest. It seems like yesterday when I was on top of this apartment building doing surveillance as I prepared to take her out. She'd been so bubbly back then, so innocent. Now it kills me to see the sadness permanently etched onto her beautiful face, sadness that I put there. I haven't talked to her or seen her since that night at her house. It's better if I keep my distance. It's bad enough that I let things go as far as they had, and I didn't realize the extent of it until she'd said it out loud the other night.
She'd been right; I could've just done my job and remained friendly with her, but I didn't. I was the one who escalated it into what it is now, and it's not fair to her that I have to withdraw from her after everything I'd done to pull her in. I'd blurred the lines between what was actually needed to do my job and my own selfish, personal reasons and now, she has to pay the price for that. I have to see the consequences of my selfishness every time I see her walk past her window at home, looking out longingly to see if she can see me watching somewhere. I have to see it when she's sulking around campus, completelyuninterested in everything going on around her as she constantly checks her phone.
I sigh inwardly and try to ignore the negative emotions threatening to take over my mind. While I shouldn't have let it go as far as it had, I can only keep this appropriate for now. Soon enough, I'll be gone, and she'll eventually forget about me as she finds a guy more appropriate for her life who won't put her in danger or force her to constantly leave her behind.
My ringing phone pulls me out of my thoughts and gives me something more productive to focus on. I quickly grab it when I see Natalie's name on my screen, hitting the answer button so quickly that I nearly jam my finger.
"Talk to me," I say upon answering.
