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The other woman knotted her handkerchief. “He wanted me to know everything about you, and about it being over. He said I should have the story straight.” Her voice was soft. “But I have to wonder, because you and he are so close, still—”
Alanna took the handkerchief away before her friend could damage it. “We always were close, long before we were lovers. I imagine we’ll always be close, but not in the same way. We’re friends. And I’m his Champion.”
“But everyone seems to think—When you come back—”
“Everyone?” Alanna wanted to know. “I think someone doesn’t think that at all, or he wouldn’t spend so much time with you.”
Thayet whispered, “If I hadn’t come to Tortall—”
Alanna drew a design in the sand. “Nonsense. I wanted you to be safe; we all did. And I knew you’d make a better Queen than I would.”
“What?” yelped the Princess.
“Jonathan needs someone who will treat him like a person, not just a King,” Alanna explained. “I can’t. I’m his vassal, for all I’m his friend. You were born and reared to be royalty. It doesn’t frighten you. You won’t let him turn into a prig. You won’t let him be smug.” She hesitated, then said, “I was hoping by now you’d like him.”
“But you’re my friend!” Thayet wailed. “I can’t take your man!”
Alanna hugged her. “He isn’t my man. He’s yours, if you love him and he loves you. I want you both to be happy. I’d prefer you were happy with each other.”
Thayet sniffed and wiped her eyes. “I probably look like a hag.”
Alanna grinned. “Don’t fish for compliments. It isn’t becoming.”
A watery chuckle was her answer. “I was so happy at not having to go through a marriage of state.”
“Well, that was before you met Jon, so that’s all right.”
Now that she didn’t have to worry about upsetting her friend, Thayet wanted to hear about Jonathan when he was younger. When that subject was exhausted, she told Alanna of the changes they hoped to make in Tortall. Buri arrived. When Thayet stopped for breath, the K’mir said, “Glad it’s not me she’s talking to, for a change. People in love are boring.” Thayet made a face at her companion.
Much later, as she and Alanna lay in their bedrolls, Thayet whispered, “Alanna? Is there someone for you?”
Alanna blinked, suddenly watery-eyed. “I don’t know.”
“He’d be very unconventional, I know.” Thayet sighed. “Most men—”
“Would panic if they thought of marrying a lady knight,” Alanna finished. “Someone like that would bore me silly. I’ve been very lucky with men.” She fingered the ember at her throat, wondering where George was.
“Then you’ll be lucky again.”
The next morning Alanna was performing her Shang exercises when she heard a sentry’s warning whistle. It was answered by two others, and then a whistle sounded to mean “No danger.” She picked up her sword, wanting to check anyway, when a woman behind her said, “It’s me they’re whistling about.”
Alanna spun and stepped back into a fighting stance. The wiry female, now in front of her, raised her hands to show they were empty. Her tightly curled hair was more grey than chestnut; her eyes were pale in a tan, weathered face. On her gloves was the Shang globe surmounted by a bristling cat. “The reflexes are all right,” the Wildcat said, her voice light and dry. “Do you expect an attack even now?”
Alanna lowered her sword. “I’ve had an interesting year.”
“Hunh.” Liam’s master examined her carefully. “So you were his last pupil. He thought you could be one of us, for all that you’re too old.” Alanna looked away, afraid she might cry. “Come up on the ridge with me. I’m just passing through. You can see me off.”
“You’ve come a way to ’just pass through,”’ Alanna said, her emotions under control again. She followed the Wildcat up to a ridge that commanded a view of the southern road. The older woman stopped to stare across the desert, lines deepening at the corners of her eyes. “I want to tell you I’m sorry—about Liam. I wish I could have prevented it.”
The Wildcat waved her explanation away. “You have to understand Shang, Lady Knight. We all know we risk early death. And he guessed, or suspected. He wrote me from Corus, the day before he was killed. If he got lucky, I was to forget it. If he didn’t, I was to give you this.”
She put a folded and sealed parchment into Alanna’s hands. Alanna saw the older woman’s eyes brim with tears. The Wildcat gave her a tiny smile. “I love him more’n my own sons. It’s good to know he used his death well.”
Opening the parchment with hands that shook, Alanna read:
Kitten, Knowing you, you think it’s your fault I got killed when I did. You’re thinking, if you hadn’t dragged me along... Forget it. Remember the Doi woman, Mi-chi, saying I knew my fate? Years ago a Doi told me I’d know when it was the Black God’s time for me. I think this is it. If I’m wrong, and I live, the Wildcat will burn this letter anyway, so you won’t find out that I wrote this.
Don’t blame yourself. When could you ever tell me what to do? I chose my life. I accepted Dragon rank, knowing no Dragon has lived to be forty. As it is, I’m the oldest Dragon in almost a hundred years.
The truth is we never saw death the same (like some other things), so I didn’t talk about it with you. All you think of death is ending. To me, it’s how a person goes. Dying for important things—that’s better than living safe.
I often visited Tortall, though we never met there. The last two times—the first before I found you, and the second when we sailed into Port Caynn—I felt a change
. Like the land when spring is coming. Bazhir talking to northerners, not fighting them. Commoners and nobles planning the future. Even you, my kitten, your great disguise—it’s part of something new that centers around your Jonathan. If I can protect this beginning, I will have died a Dragon. You should grow old, and testy (testier), and raise lions and lionesses with a man who loves all of you. Even your Gift, and your independence, and your stubbornness.
Practice the kicks off your left side—I don’t care if they tire you out more than the right-side kicks.
Remember to rub that balm I gave you into the scars on your hands.
The Wildcat had gone while she read. Glad to be alone, Alanna sat and wept, letting the Dragon go at last.
Thayet and Buri left a few days later. Alanna started to think about her own trip north, before the roads turned bad with winter rain and snow. Since she was trying to weave a blanket for George’s Midwinter present, she decided to set out when it was done. She was working alone in her tent one afternoon when a shadow blocked the light on her work. George Cooper, cloak and riding boots covered with dust, entered the tent.
Alanna put down her shuttle. She could feel her heart drumming, and it took an effort to say lightly, “I was sort of hoping you’d come before this.”
He sat beside her, examining the cloth on the loom. “I’d hoped to come before this, too,” he admitted. “Truth to tell, givin’ up the Rogue and turnin’ respectable—it takes gettin’ used to. Some days I get out of bed not knowin’ who I am. Jonathan kept me busy, like I wrote you. Too, the castle down at old Pirate’s Swoop had to be fixed up proper before I brought—” He stopped. “Jon’s announced he’s to marry Thayet,” he said abruptly. “The Bazhir will have told you.”
“It’s one of the advantages to having a King who’s also the Voice.” His face would be easier to read if his back wasn’t to the light!
