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“Good. Now, as you know, we’re coming off of a championship run. Last year was one for the record books, and it’s been an absolute honor to manage this team. Because of our league championship, I’m managing our league’s all star team. That means I get to make one very important choice, and Max, I’d like you as our starting pitcher. The events of this meeting notwithstanding.”
My heart soars. Being selected as an All-Star is a huge honor, and being chosen by the manager to start the game? That’s as good as it gets. Still not sure why I’m here, unless I’m moral support? Max shakes Roger’s hands and turns to me with a grin.
Waiting.
I’m not kissing him here in the manager’s office if that’s what he’s thinking.
Roger regards me for a long, silent moment and I’m almost ready to spill more secrets. But then, he continues.
“I also get to choose my own coaching staff. I’ve thought long and hard about it, and I want you to know, right here andnow, that while I respect you as a hitting coach, I’m not choosing you as hitting coach for the all star game.”
Well, that’s a blow to the ego.
Tears sting at the back of my eyes, but I am determined not to cry about this. At least not here in Roger’s office. No, I’ll cry about this tonight while I sit on my balcony and drink a giant seltzer water, letting the carbonation sting the back of my throat until my eyes water. But Iwon’tcry about it here.
“Sutton, I’d like for you to be my bench coach.”
And that is when the floodgates open.
Tears stream down my cheeks and I am at a complete loss for words…
“You could be here someday, Kiddo. Playing on this field.” Dad hands me my hotdog from the vendor and points at the field in front of us where the Kansas City Kings are taking batting practice. We took a weekend trip to see the Mustangs on the road and this is my first trip to Kings Stadium.
“Nah,” I take a bite of the steamed hotdog and squishy stadium bun. “I think I’d rather coach than play.”
“If that’s what you want to do, go for it. But don’t put all your eggs in that basket. If you don’t pursue softball or even baseball, what would you do?”
“Teach. Probably science.” I love science. I love to know how the world works. I’ve applied to colleges and am interested in the ones who are interested in me. Michigan State is offering me a softball scholarship and has a zoology program. I could play ball, study, and figure out next steps afterward. And their softball team is coached by Roger Galligher, a Michigan softball legend. Playing under him would be a dream come true.
“Then that’s what you do. Then someday you’ll be an All-Star.”
“Your dad would be so proud of you, Sutton.” Roger gives me a small smile. “As am I. As long as we never talk about the two of you ever again. Now get out of my office.”
Max follows me back to my office and stands just inside the door as I compose myself with a few deep breaths. There’s a picture of my parents and me on my graduation day in East Lansing, it hangs on the wall with the bat he sent me after Roger hired me. I miss them everyday, some days the pain of that grief is harder than others. Today is one of those days.
“I wish he could have met you,” I whisper, turning around when I hear the soft click of my door closing, leaving Max and I alone in clear violation of our ground rules, but right now I don’t care. “He’d have hated you.”
Max laughs, full throated and joy-filled. I love when he laughs. It doesn’t happen often so I like to remember when it does.
“You laugh, but it’s true. My dad was a baseball pacifist through and through. He didn’t care about unwritten rules and retribution and all the rest. If you plunk someone, if you instigate a brawl on the field, you deserve your suspension and every single cent of your fine.”
“Sounds like my mom,” Max sits on my couch and even though I know I shouldn’t, I sit down next to him and let him wrap an arm around me. “She called me up after my first suspension and tried to ground me. Never mind the fact that I was in my twenties and hadn’t lived at home in years. Eventually she came around to the unwritten rules, but still hated it when I’d get suspended. I bet I could’ve gotten your dad to come around, too.”
“As much as he’d have hated you, I have no doubt in my mind that he’d love you, too.”
“Why’s that?”
“Because I do.”
“I wish I could have met him,” Max squeezes my hand and presses a kiss to my cheek. “Because his daughter is pretty fantastic.”
“Thank you.” I kiss the corner of his mouth before shooing him out of my office so that we can get ready for tonight’s game.
Things are tense in the dugout tonight as we get deeper into the game without a hit. The Kansas City Kings pitching staff have been dominant tonight, and our bats have been quiet. We’ve had some long fly ball outs, grounded into more than our fair share of double plays, but we just can’t get the ball in play. Nico and Luis are seated on either side of me, asking for advice and looking over their reports.
When we’re down to our last three outs, I start pacing the dugout. The coaching staff is avoiding me, and even Max stopped trying to hydrate me two innings ago. Everyone is keeping their distance.
Luca is sent down on a called third strike.
