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Cade appeared with my glass of wine. But it was new, based on how full it was and the cool condensation gathering on it. Ocean still stood near the windows. I needed to talk about some shit, and my best friends were the only ones I could do it with. “I’m going to talk to Ocean for a bit.”
I didn’t let them answer. As soon as I was out of their sphere, I breathed out a sigh. This was such a bad fucking idea. I was in over my head, and I knew it.
“Hey, O,” I whispered, stepping up beside her. “Feel like going for a walk?”
“God, yes.”
Glancing around, I found Trinity talking to a rapt audience of three men. She smiled, telling some kind of story before she noticed me looking.
“We’re going outside.” I mouthed the words and gestured between Ocean and myself. She nodded.
Ocean still had her drink in her hand, though it didn’t seem like she actually wanted it. We walked down the wide stone steps over to one of the lawns that stretched out. I left my shoes at the edge of the grass, wanting to feel it on my feet.
“How are you?” I asked. “Really.” The answer she’d given me earlier didn’t quite ring true.
“I’m okay.”
“Is that the real answer, or is that the one you think I want to hear?”
She smiled. “It’s real. I’m… fine. Not great, not awful. But I’m just here. I’m glad that you’re back. It’ll be nice to have a second excuse to get out of the house. Not that you’re an excuse.”
“No, I get it.” Other than her greenhouse, where she worked on breeding flowers, her office was in her house. Frankly, it was a miracle her family let her have a business at all, but since it was at home, they supposed she could dosomethingwith her time.
“So why are you out here with me instead of inside with them?”
I sighed and tossed back half the wine. Great choice? Probably not. But at this point, I felt like I needed to have my edges softened. Not get so drunk I was sloppy, but my whole spine and body were wound tight around these men. “They’re too much, O.”
“How so?”
“Have youseenthem?”
She snickered. “Yes. You’re lucky.”
“Am I?” Confusion swirled through me again. “It was so easy to say I wasn’t going to fall into bed with them. But now that I’m here, they’re so fucking tempting, but Ican’t. And then they say things that make me think—” I blew out a breath. “This has been the longest day in the history of the world. It feels like I’ve known them forever and not a few hours.”
“Why can’t you?”
Ocean’s words interrupted my thoughts. I’d been so lost in them I was zoning out. “What?”
“You said you can’t. Why can’t you?”
“What kind of hypocrite would I be if I did that? After what Beau said? I’m not like him. I don’t take advantage of people.”
We had wandered around on the grass in a circle, so I took the last sip of my drink and left the glass next to my shoes. Ocean left hers too.
“Of course you’re not like him. I don’t see why that means you have to hold back.”
“O—”
“No,” she said, her voice uncharacteristically firm. “Beau said what he said because he’s a fucking asshole. What kind of man talks about the woman he’s going to marry like that? He said it to hurt you, and you won’t convince me otherwise.
“This?” She pointed to the house. “Nothing about this is the same. Yeah, you paid them money. But you’re paying themfor this. You’re not paying them to clean your house and then asking them to fuck you, Iz.”
“But—” I pressed my hands to my stomach, fighting the swirling anxiety. “I don’t—” It was like I couldn’t get a full sentence out. “It’s only three weeks. What happens when it’s over?”
“Then you had a good time for three weeks with fiveexcruciatinglyhot men who treat you better than your ex everwould have. I refuse to see how that’s a bad thing. If it’s the fact that you’re paying them that’s bothering you, I’ll pay for it.”
That made me snort with laughter. “You’re not paying for my escorts.”
