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“Are you saying you forgot to buy them?” Had he used a whole box with Leslie in the last week alone?
“I just don’t see why we need one!”
Words were knocked out of me along with my breath.
He softened his gaze, pleading, “I want to be inside you without anything between us. You brought it up last weekend, and I haven’t stopped thinking about it. You want it like that, and I do too. There’s no reason we can’t have each other that way.”
I could only stare at him.
“I mean, it’s just us, right? We’re monogamous, aren’t we?”
Rage spiked, hard and furious. I jerked away, scrambling to get off the little bed. A sad power ballad boomed through the walls from the room next door, and the small air conditioner in the corner window hummed.
Adam grabbed my arm with the slick hand he’d used to lube his dick, but I easily pulled free. Panting, I spun away, my back to the windows.
Whatever affection had been rekindled by his devoted blow job was wiped away in the flames. My face burned, and my dick went soft as I glared at him incredulously. Adam’s own cock stuck out straight and glistening.
“No! We aren’t monogamous!” I yelled. “You’re fucking Leslie! Or did you forget?”
Adam lunged at me, slamming his clean hand over my mouth. “Shh! Eater, keep it down.”
My stomach twisted into nauseating knots, and I kicked his shins, wrenching free of his grip, heaving angry breaths.
“Eater, listen. I meant it’s just us, right? You, me, and Leslie.” His eyes narrowed again.
Anger lifted me onto my toes, up into his face. “Fuck you,” I spat, pushing him.
He thumped down hard on his bed, his cock pointing at me in expectation.
Every moment of every hour I’d spent with Bobby ran through my head. The pamphlets my mother had given me. Everything I’d learned from Daniel. Everything I’d heard at Tilt-a-Whirl. HIV was real. AIDS was real. And so weredozensof other diseases. How could I risk it with him? I couldn’ttrusthim.
A coldness I’d never known settled over me. “You didn’t use a condom the other night, did you?”
“I did! I swear I did!” He stared at me incredulously. “What the fuck, Peter? I already told you. I showed it to you, for fuck’s sake.”
“Do you use condoms with her?”
His gaze skittered away. “She’s on the pill now,” he mumbled.
I shook so hard my teeth chattered. “So, you’re fucking her without a condom, and now you think you can fuck me that way too?”
I’d counted the condoms last weekend—twice—but I still didn’t trust him. I still thought he’d fucked me bare.
He reached out to touch me. I moved until the back of my knees hit the opposite bed. “Eater, I’m sorry,” he whispered.
“For what? For fucking me without a condom?”
“I didn’t. I swear to God.”
“I don’t believe in God.”
“I swear on my love for you.” He rubbed a hand over his face. “I made a mistake today. I thought you wanted it too. I thought it’d be romantic to do it today. I was wrong. I realize that now. After what that guy did to you this summer, I shouldn’t just assume sex is going to be the same between us.”
I snarled. “What happened this summer has nothing to do with this or us.”
“I think it does. You haven’t been the same since that night.” He tilted his head, giving me a patronizing, tender look. “I want to help you through it, Peter. Whatever trauma you experienced, it’s okay. I still love you. I want to help.”
“I don’t need your help. I’m fine. I’m not, it wasn’t—” I growled, raw and naked in every way. “You’re turning this around on me. Fuck you.”
