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I swallowed, confused by how tempted I was to say yes. I cared about Adam—no, I loved him—but I was dancing in a club with a hot guy who was out anddidn’thave a girlfriend on the side. My whole heart yearned to be free of the burden we’d lived under for the last year. I wanted to be like Minty or Antonio or Windy. I wanted to dance with someone and be with them without any bullshit to cover up.
I gazed into the crowd still worshiping at the throne of Madonna and saw Daniel dancing with his date again.
“I don’t know,” I said eventually, when Jeremy nudged me for an answer. “Our situation is weird.”
“Aren’t they all?” Jeremy sounded bitter, but then he grinned. “In the meantime, while he’s away, you’re left to your own devices?”
“Something like that,” I said, trying for flirty.
Flirting never hurt anyone. It wasn’t like it betrayed Adam for me to flirt with Jeremy. Hell, I could even dance with him—kisshim—and I’d still be doing a lot less than Adam had done with Leslie all year.
I sipped on the Greyhound, finding the pulpy, bittersweet taste the perfect accompaniment to a big realization. I didn’t want my conversation with Jeremy or this moment together to be about Adam. A thrill of power poured into me. I knew how Jeremy was looking at me. I knew why he was buying me drinks, and it wasn’t to celebrate some stranger’s coming out. He thought I was hot. I couldfeelhis want. It was a rush.
“So, what about you?” I asked, smiling and letting him squeeze even closer to me. Carbonation popped in my bloodstream. Wicked joy screamed under my skin. I could do this. I wasallowed. “You from around here?”
“Nope. I hail from the wild and wonderful state of West Virginia.”
“Sounds like a travel commercial.”
“Probably because it’s the state motto,” Jeremy laughed. “I’m here for school. You going out of state for college?”
“Nope. I’m sticking around home.”
Jeremy’s eyes flared happily. “Decided on a major?”
“Photography,” I replied.
“Sexy.” Jeremy waggled his eyebrows. “I’ve always had a thing for artists.”
I laughed. He tapped my glass with a handsome finger—even his fingers were attractive—and said, “You gulped that down. Want another?”
I thought about it, remembering what I’d been told on my first visit about accepting drinks. I’d already allowed him to buy me two, what would he want from me if I said yes to a third?
“I don’t know…”
Jeremy smiled again. “Come on. No strings attached. Have another with me.”
The club felt soft, fuzzy, and warm. I’d hung out with him for over an hour, and I didn’t feel guilty about that. I was having fun, and for once I wasn’t someone’s second choice or dirty secret.
“Okay,” I said. “Why not?”
Sipping the fresh drink Jeremy shortly provided, I followed him upstairs to watch Renée’s show together. As we sat down at one of the tables, Jeremy produced a small vial of clear liquid from his pocket. He put some in his drink and then pulled my glass over, saying, “Here, try some. It’s awesome. You’ll like it.”
“What’s it for?”
“Makes it even better.”
The drink already tasted pretty good, but if it would make it better, why not? So far, I’d liked everything Jeremy had suggested from the Greyhounds to dancing together, to the table in the dark shadows at the back of the room. I watched him put a few drops in my drink and then I clinked it against his.
It didn’t actually taste anybetterin my opinion, maybe a little saltier, but Jeremy nodded at me, asking, “It’s good, right?”
I nodded, and he winked. The show started not long after. As I sipped my drink, watching Renée take the stage, everything changed.
My skin tingled. My nipples ached. My balls felt full. I squirmed, aroused and desperate in a strange, disconnected way. Renée danced in barely anything, but my feelings had nothing to do with her. The men around me were attractive, but that wasn’t why I was so turned on.
Then it hit me.
It wasme.
