Page 59 of You Are Not Me


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“Pretty hot stuff.”

“Totally.” I took a sip of my Coke. “She’ll bring down the house.”

“Burn it down,” Barry agreed.

A young blond guy, maybe twenty-three, sat on the stool beside me and held up two fingers. “Screwdriver for me and one for my friend here,” he said, motioning at me.

Barry snorted. “Screwdriver for you and zippo for yourfriend.”

I flushed.

Rick Springfield and I might be too hot to handle given the amount of interest we’d generated since walking in the door. Or maybe I had a reputation now after what I’d done while high with Jeremy. Oh, fuck, what if I had a reputation? I gulped my soda, and Barry refilled it for me.

The guy leaned closer. “The name’s Neil. Don’t suppose you wanna dance?”

My heart pounded. I totally had a reputation now. Great.

I held up my old point-and-shoot. “Sorry, I’m on a date with my camera.”

“Barry will watch it for you.”

I shook my head, and thankfully Neil took the hint. He left me alone but stuck around to gossip with Barry about a regular named Eddie.

“They just released him from the hospital yesterday.”

“AIDS-related?” Barry asked.

“Nah. Fisting accident.”

Barry’s usual unflappable demeanor vanished, and his eyebrows hit the sky. “What?”

“Yeah, it was in the bathroom at his dorm. Got fisted so hard it ruptured his colon. They took him to the ER, but he’d already gone septic. Nearly died.”

“Are you fucking with me?” Barry stared at Neil.

I gaped openly.

“Not even. They had to cordon off the whole bathroom. There was blood and shit everywhere. The straights werefreaking out.”

Who cared about the straights,Iwas freaking out. Fisting? Blood and shit everywhere? Fuck. I’d never heard of anything like that. Who’d put a fist in a butt? Who’d even want that? How did itfit? I never wanted to find out.

Barry slid another screwdriver Neil’s way. “Was it consensual, or was it assault?”

“He said he wanted it rough.”

“But he’s okay now?” I asked, squirming on the stool.

“Pretty much,” Neil said, looking at me for the first time since I’d rejected him. “He’s awfully skinny though. It was real touch-and-go for a while. But yeah, he’s okay. Already trying to get up to his old tricks, no less.”

I sipped my Coke and listened as Neil and Barry moved on to discuss other mutual acquaintances. As Neil drank, whatever filter he had fell away completely. He dished the dirt like I’d never imagined possible. My cheeks burned, and my fingers danced nervously through the condensation on my glass. But I couldn’t deny that I’d rather be here listening to Neil and Barry talk too honestly about strangers’ sex lives than with Leslie and the gang lying my ass off.

During a lull in the gossip, I asked Barry, “So, hey, where’s Minty tonight?”

Barry’s eyebrow lifted. “Don’t you mean where’s Daniel?”

“No,” I said, narrowing my eyes at him. “I meant Minty.”

“Sure you did.” He smiled sweetly and then put a handful of Starbursts on the bar in front of me.

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