Page 79 of You Are Not Me


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“Good. I was worried it wouldn’t get to you in time.”

“No, I got it.” I fiddled with the hem of my sweatshirt, still rushing on the high of the mixtape Daniel had made for me. I’d lain in the dark of my bedroom listening to it for hours, waiting for it to be time for Adam to call. “And I sent you a letter a few days ago. It should be there soon.”

“You didn’t say anything weird in it, did you?”

“No.” I scowled even though he couldn’t see me. “I just sent some pictures from around town.”

“Did you send any of you?” He sounded excited.

“No.” Irritation chafed under my skin. “I didn’t want you to get in trouble.”

“Ah. Yeah, good call.” He was quiet for a second. “Did you have a good birthday?”

“Yeah.”

Adam laughed softly. “Aaannnnd? What’d you do? Leslie told me you didn’t want to hang out with the group today. She’d planned to get you a cake and everything.”

I shifted so that my back was straighter against the wall. Of course he’d talked to Leslie earlier. He didn’t have to hide those phone calls. “I had other plans.”

“With who?” He sounded suspicious.

The implications of telling the truth swelled inside me. If I told him I was with Robert, he’d be annoyed. If I mentioned that I’d made new friends, he’d want to know about them. Then I’d have to explain about Daniel, and I didn’t want Adam knowing anything about him. I didn’t even want Adam to know his name.

I closed my eyes, making stalling sounds.

“Peter? With who?” Now he sounded angry.

I cleared my throat, and for the first time in our relationship I outright lied to Adam. “My parents wanted me to spend the day with them. They’re really into family time now that I’ve come out. They’re trying to make up for lost time or something.”

My lie was satisfactory. “Okay, so long as you’re not hanging out with Robert.”

“Robert’s my friend.”

“Oh, so he’s your friend now? I though he was your employer.”

“Can’t he be both?”

There was a long silence broken by his groan. “Let’s not fight.”

“Then stop picking on me.”

“I’m not the one who… Never mind.” There was another long silence, then he burst out with, “Peter, I miss you so much. I’m so fucking horny. I swear to God, I jerk off all the time. Likeall the time. My dick hurts from how much I jerk off.”

So maybe Robert was wrong, and Adam really wasn’t hooking up in Rome. I’d refused to think about it, but I couldn’t deny that the thought of Adam celibate was satisfying.

Then he added sullenly, “At least you’re getting blow jobs at clubs.”

My fiddling fingers froze on my hem. “What?”

“You heard me.”

“That happened once.”

“Actually, it was several times in one night, you said.”

I gritted my teeth and clenched the phone. I didn’t want to fight, but already the entire call had gone sideways. “It’s my birthday, and you said you’d stop picking on me.”

“Technically your birthday was over a few hours ago, but I concede the point.”

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