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I remembered the one time I’d met Adam’s dad, the dark expression, the intensity of his energy. I had never forgotten how frightened Adam had always been of his dad, and how he’d confessed to me that his father had hit him the last time he’d suspected Adam of being gay.
“Please, sit,” Adam said, like he was the host, and we were the guests. It was unnerving. Everything about the situation was. My mother reached across the table and took the steak knife from beside Adam’s now haphazardly full plate. Adam didn’t even seem to notice.
I looked toward my dad and found him looking at me. His eyes darted to the phone on the wall and then back to Adam. After a moment, he caught my eye again before sitting down. I followed his lead, my knees wobbling and hands shaking as I placed my napkin back across my lap.
Milky Way snuffled around Adam’s feet. She lifted up on her hind legs to press her front paws against his thigh, panting up at him and expecting pets. Adam released another strange-sounding laugh and then petted Milky Way’s head, speaking to her in the voice he reserved for animals—soft and sweet. “Hello, I met you the other night. Remember me?”
Mom and Dad both looked toward me, and I shook my head. Now wasn’t the time to talk about that. What was happening right now was weirder than that entire prior encounter.
“So, what was the conversation about?” Mom asked, going back to her food, though she was still visibly shaken. She put a small bite of casserole into her mouth and chewed unnaturally, as if it was something she had to remember how to do.
“I told him the truth,” Adam said, putting his chin out and wincing as he did. I noticed the additional welt blooming on his cheekbone and another along his jaw. “I told him I’m bisexual.”
I blinked. Adam had never identified with that word at any point before. I’d tried to get him to embrace it as an identity, but he hadn’t wanted to, or felt it was quite right. But now, here he was saying it as clear as day, as if we all knew, as if we’d all known for a very long time. And I supposed we had.
“I told him Leslie dumped me because of it.”
I held back a snort.Thatwasn’t quite true. But again, timing was everything and it wasn’t the time for that discussion.
“And your father didn’t take that well,” Dad said, repeating Adam’s words from earlier.
“No,” Adam said, as if from far away, his eyes going distant and blank. “He didn’t.”
“What did your mother do, sweetie?” Mom said, her voice softening.
I felt a weird fissure open up inside between what I wanted from her—to stay on my side, to see Adam as the villain of the piece—and what I knew was right for Adam. He’d just had the crap beaten out of him by his own father. He needed solace from people he could trust. People he knew wouldn’t hurt him.
That was us.
He’d come tous.
Even after everything, I didn’t think he’d made the wrong choice. He was safe here, whether I liked his presence or not. The table had room for him tonight—and tonight only.
“Should we call an ambulance? Or take him to a hospital?” Mom asked Dad, her voice low, as though that would prevent me or Adam from hearing her.
“I’m fine,” Adam said, taking a bite of tenderloin and chewing painfully. “It’s not a big deal.”
“The police—”
“No,” Adam said a little sharper. “Don’t. It won’t happen again.”
“But it’s happened before, hasn’t it?” Dad asked. “And if it’s happened before, itwillhappen again. There’s always a next time.”
“No,” Adam said. “Because he’s thrown me out.”
Mom blinked.
“No car, no clothes, no nothing. No school. No money. He told me to never come back. He never wants to see me again.” Adam swallowed his bite of meat. Tears rose in his eyes. “I never want to see him again either. So, there won’t be a next time. I won’t let there be.”
“Adam…” Mom’s voice was tender.
Adam looked to me, and I realized I’d said nothing. I’d done nothing. I hadn’t reached out a hand to comfort him. I hadn’t asked questions or even felt tempted to hug him. I’d just sat there, dumbfounded, scared, and worried.
Adam whispered, “I told him I love you.”
“You shouldn’t have done that.”
“Why not? It’s true!”
