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Chapter Five
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When I arrivedat my job that afternoon, I was looking forward to a few hours of sewing sequins onto a new dress, or filing paperwork, or balancing accounts. The work was mindless, but satisfying, and I’d let myself indulge in optimistic fantasies. I’d see Daniel in the morning, and we’d visit Bobby together. Somehow, I’d find a way to prove to Daniel I was worth his time and affection. I could feel it in my bones. It was all going to work out: Bobby would get well, and Daniel and I would get close again.
There were only going to be good things ahead for me now. After ditching the weight of Adam, and all the shame and lies, now I was free to become the man I wanted to be. The kind of man Daniel could love. As I entered the house, I walked with more of a bounce in my step than I had in weeks.
I found Robert and Barry sitting at the kitchen table with paperwork from a local bank spread out all around them. Rolled up next to it all were the house plans for Barry and Robert’s dream home, the one they were building on Barry’s family’s land in Strawberry Plains.
“Sweetie!” Robert waved me over. He wore a tiger-print leotard over red running shorts and was sipping from a big wine glass that was full to the brim with white wine and ice cubes. “You’re early!”
“I wasn’t sure how long it would take to get here from campus,” I explained. “Besides, once classes are over, they’re kind of over, so there wasn’t any reason not to just head your way.”
“Sit down,” Barry said, indicating an empty chair. “We need to talk.”
My step faltered. “We do?”
I couldn’t think of anything I’d done that deserved a talking-to from either of them. Maybe they’d heard about Adam hurting me? Maybe they wanted to give me a lecture about abuse?
Robert chided, “Don’t say it like that, Barry, baby. You’ll scare him.”
“Sit down, and don’t be scared. We need to talk.” Barry lifted a pierced brow at Robert. “That better?”
Robert blew a wine-wet raspberry. “You know it wasn’t.” Turning to me, he said, “Don’t worry, Sweetie. It’s nothing bad. It’s just a change.”
I took a seat, placing my Minolta on the table, and waited.
“I’m so glad I hired you last December. You’ve been a great help around here,” Robert said, taking hold of my hand and squeezing my fingers. My stomach sank; this wasn’t a promising start. “All the work you’ve done for us, the way you’ve been so open to learning new things, and the documentary, and the sewing! You were such a fast learner and so good with the sequins. I’m just proud.”
Barry nodded in agreement.
“Uh, why does it feel like you’re going to fire me?”
“Well…” Robert’s brows tugged together, and he gripped my hand even tighter. “Because we are.” My face must have given away my feelings because Robert rushed to reassure me. “But not immediately! We can give you a month to find something else. We don’t want to leave you in the lurch.”
I swallowed thickly. “Why though? If I’ve done good work for you? If you’re happy with me?”
Robert glanced toward Barry and then went on, keeping his voice soft and gentle. “You know how I’ve been contracted to do weekly shows at the Slide in Nashville this fall?”
I did know this and had helped her get that opportunity. The Slide was a gay club that paid their drag queens more and had a much bigger stage than in Knoxville. The larger audience also meant a lot more in tips. The new contract meant that, starting this month, Renée was the one bringing home the bacon.
“Go on,” I said. “Get to the firing-me part.”
“Well, as you know, the documentary is finished. There are just a few small tweaks to make, and we’ll be submitting it to the film festival circuits. I can handle doing that,” Barry said. “So the documentary work is done now, and Robert’s giving up the public TV shows since his schedule will be much tighter with all his trips to Nashville.”
Robert went on, “You did a fantastic job straightening out our office, Sweetie. The filing’s up to date, everything’s organized and in order, and Renée has enough new costumes to last a year or two.”
“Your work here is done,” Barry said.
“And even if it wasn’t,” Robert added. “The new income from the Slide means Barry and I can move forward on building the new house.”
I still wasn’t sure why this meant they weren’t going to need me anymore. Give Robert a few weeks’ worth of mail and paperwork and the office would be a mess again, I was sure of it.
“So, here’s the thing: in order to secure this building loan,” Robert tapped the paperwork spread on the table. “We’re going to need every last dime to prove our income. You understand, don’t you, Sweetie? This isn’t about you, or not wanting you around anymore. It’s about Barry and me moving ahead with our future.”
I understood, but it still left me reeling. I had my own financial obligations, and I depended on my rather generous income from Robert to meet them.
“Is this going to leave you in the lurch?” Robert asked, biting his lip.
