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“Too soon to joke about it?” Bobby asked.
Daniel stepped away, the heat of his hands leaving my shoulders. “Way too soon.”
My heart clenched. “It’ll always be too soon.”
***
“It was agood idea to come here together,” Daniel said, leaning against Betty Blue in the hospital parking lot.
“I’m glad you could get away.”
Daniel jingled his car keys in his jeans pocket. “I need to leave soon. The liquor store is a long walk, but it’s not like she’s never done it.”
“I understand.”
“I get it now, after hearing what you told Bobby, about why your mom took Valium to cope. I’m guessing she saw more than any child should have seen.”
I nodded.
“I worry about that for my siblings. They’ve seen a lot too. Stuff no kid should ever have to deal with, like their mother passed out in her own vomit, too drunk to carry on a conversation or fix them dinner. That’s how I found out she’d relapsed. Kennedy called me. Paul was trying to handle it all himself.”
I touched his arm. “I’m so sorry.”
“Me too. I feel guilty for having moved out and left them to deal with her. I was selfish.”
“No, you’re always doing your best,” I reassured him.
He rubbed a hand over the back of his neck. “Maybe. I hope so.” He sighed. “God, but Paul’s going to be a handful for my grandparents.”
“Do they know yet? Paul and Kennedy, I mean. About the move?”
“I told them last night, and it was a mixed bag. Kennedy cried, and then begged to stay, and then got excited about living so close to the beach. It was emotional whiplash. Paul just went cold and silent.”
“What’d your mom say to them?”
“She wasn’t there.”
My mouth fell open. Daniel just laughed bitterly. “She was locked in her room sobbing, making it all about her feelings instead of being strong for the kids. She’s afraid she’ll lose them for good. I hope she does.”
I squeezed his arm and said, “You’ve got so much going on.”
“That’s just the start of it. I’ve also decided to sell my father’s business.”
“But that’ll end your mom’s stipend, right?”
“Yeah. And we’ll have to sell the house.” His lips twisted, caught between anger and hurt. “But I’m done trying to protect her.” He squinted up at the clear, blue sky. The traffic on Henley Street rushed on by. “I’m doing what I can to protect the kids first, and then I’m determined to live my own life, my own way.”
I knew what that meant, or at least, I suspected. “Nursing school?”
“If I can get accepted next term. I might have to wait until the fall. But I’m already so far behind. What’s another year or two?”
“Just think,” I said, reaching out to adjust the fall of his lightweight red jacket. “If you’d been on track, you never would have met me.” I lowered my voice. “But, then again, maybe that would have been a good thing. Saved you a bunch of drama.”
He tweaked the curl hanging over my forehead. “Maybe, but I sure would have hated to miss out on you.”
The air between us grew thick with meaning, and if we hadn’t been in public, and if we hadn’t just committed to being friends again, I thought he might have kissed me. But he rocked back on his heels and broke the moment. “I should get going. What’s your plan for the rest of the day?”
“I gotta see a man about a job, a professor about a schedule change, and then it’s classes until the late afternoon.”
