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“Yes, just on some high school boyfriend—”
“Not a boyfriend, a guy I fucked.”
“Right, and now I want you to spank me, maybe use a crop if things go well, and let me kneel for you as Minty, your boy.”
He cupped my cheek, searching my eyes. “You think you can be with me like that as yourself? Your whole, gorgeous, perfect self?”
I started to lift my chin, ready to put on the Your Majesty persona to accept the compliments as my due, but immediately I knew I didn’t have to. I could accept them as me. Just me.
“Yes. I want to try. I’ve thought a lot about it.” I touched the necklace at my throat, feeling the butterflies. “And I’m ready.”
He slid his thumb over my lower lip. “What if I’m not?”
I blinked at him. “What do you mean?”
“I love you. I don’t want you doing this just because you think it’s what I need. Because allIneed is you—safe, happy, and here with me.”
My heart went soft and hot at the expression of adoration in his eyes. “I love you too.”
“Things can’t go back to how they were, baby. They just can’t.”
“I know, and they don’t have to.” I took hold of his hand and moved us toward the basement door. “Let me show you something,okay? Maybe this will help you understand.”
I led the way down the stairs and into the dungeon. He stopped at the bottom, his hand clenching in mine, and his brows lifting in shock and surprise.
“What do you think?”
His eyes swept all around, taking in the changes I’d made. My stomach knotted up with hopeful anxiety. What if he hated it? I should have asked permission. It was his home, his dungeon, and I was his sub, after all.
The twinkle lights I’d draped all along the wall holding the Saint Andrew’s Cross glowed a reassuring gold color, and the glow-in-the-dark stars I’d painstakingly pressed to the ceiling over the bed in the shape of the constellations on the package shone green in the darkness. The soft, white voile fabric I’d gotten half-off in the fabric department draped on hooks I’d hung on the walls around the bed, giving it a romantic, soft look.
As for the center of the room, over the drain, I’d put down a big, multi-colored braided area rug that gave a warm energy to the area, taking away the stark, industrial vibe of before.
There were other changes I’d made too.
Pillows of all colors that matched the braided area rug were tossed on the bed, and on the chair, and even in a pile in the corner. I’d bought the majority of them at Walmart, but a few I’d picked up at one of the local charity shops.
On the horse lay another colorful braided rug, this one positioned to rub against my front if I were to lie down on it, providing friction. I’d tried it out when I’d placed it, by taking my shirt off and getting on. The difference in sensation was exciting and dissimilar enough to the feel of just wood and leather that I didn’t think I’d lose myself to any past memories if I were to get flogged while buckled in.
All in all, the room was entirely different, and yet its functioncould be the same.
I bit my bottom lip, watching for Luke’s reaction, but his wide-eyed gaze betrayed no emotion that I could decipher.
“I can take it all down, and we can use it elsewhere if you don’t like it. I can give it all to my mother.”
“No,” Luke breathed. “It’ll all stay right here.”
I guided him to the bed, which had a new afghan thrown over the bottom of it. I sat down, and he remained standing, holding onto my hands and looking around the room.
“I want to be your boy again,” I said. “But when I came down here the other day to see if I thought I was ready, I realized that to kneel for you and still be healthy in my head, I had to own the space more. I needed to change it so that what we do together feels different and doesn’t feed any dark, hurt, angry parts of me.”
Luke had stopped gazing at the room and started looking at me as I spoke. His eyes were gentle, and he squeezed my fingers. “Can it work?”
“Hit me and see.”
Luke’s lips curved into an amused smile, and he touched my cheek with trembling fingers. “I don’t want to hurt you, baby.”
“Not even a little?” I batted my eyes at him and pleaded. “But I’ve beenvery good, Sir, and I think I deserve it.”
