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I didn’t know if that was because he needed some pain tonight, or if he simply hadn’t ever been handled like this before. I decided not to ask because getting rough was off the menu. I wasn’t in the mood, and he wasn’t going to get it.
Part of being a man’s sub sometimes meantnotbeing hurt. He’d learn that too.
“I’ve never done this before,” he whispered, as he lay back on his small dorm bed, watching me shed my clothes. “Most of the time I’m just fucking hookups. They’re not cruel, but they’re not tender either. So, yeah, I’ve never done it all gentle or whatever.”
“Not even your first time?”
His breath hitched, and his eyes slid away from me.
Oh right, fuck.
“Um,no, and my second time was just like this horrible sort of train situation? I was drunk, and there was a pool table, and three…no, four guys. That was before I got vigilant about condoms. Before Daniel convinced me to be.” He huffed and added, “Some good that did in the end, yeah?”
Silence fell between us as I pulled my pants off and tossed them aside.
“Sorry,” he whispered. “Only things that make us smile. I forgot.”
I shook my head, crawling onto the single mattress, holding my body over him. “When it comes to sex, I want to know it all, every feeling, happy or sad or bad.” I lowered myself against him, our skin touching everywhere except where his pretty panties blocked our cocks. “It’s important. I don’t want to think we’re having a sweet, loving moment when internally you’re reliving trauma.”
“Loving?” His voice hitched. “Alovingmoment?”
I could practically hear his hope that I was saying I loved him. And it wasn’t as though I didn’t, but it also wasn’t as though I did. Yet.
I nuzzled his neck. “Love can be an action, not just a feeling.”
“An action?”
“Mm, yeah.” I kissed his throat, feeling him shiver against my body. “This is loving, right now. This kiss.” I gave another. “And this.” I moved to kiss his mouth, and we were lost together. The thumping sound of music drifting in from all the other rooms above, below, and beside us melded with the beating of our hearts. We kissed like we were innocent again. Like we’d never been hurt.
“Baby,” I whispered when we came up for air. “You’ve got me so confused.”
“About what?”
“About what we’re doing,” I murmured, smelling his hair and the heated skin of his neck. “You. Me. I didn’t plan on us.”
“There’s an us?”
“There’s been an us since you barged into the back office at Knox Supplies & News and tried to hand back that contract.”
Minty ran his hand into my hair, feathering his fingers through it gently, a smile drifting onto his lips. “You liked me that day?”
I laughed. “You were like a present wrapped up in my favorite things—ballsy, determined, beautiful.” I slid a finger down his throat, over his Adam’s apple, and over his pale chest. “Bratty.”
He grinned, wrapping his arms around my neck, and tugging me closer. “Sir—I mean, Luke, you don’t normally open up so much.”
“No, I guess I don’t.”
“I like it.”
“Do you?”
“Yeah, I like knowing you. The real you.”
“The Dom is the real me as much as everything else. It’s a piece of me that I can’t deny.”
“Good thing I don’t want you to deny it then.” He fluttered his lashes at me, and then pressed his arms up and back, crossing them at the wrists, and lifting his chin provocatively. “This ‘love is an action’ thing? What else does love do?”
I kissed him again then, holding his arms down at the wrists, giving him a hint of dominance, but not enough to take over and turn this into a scene. I released him only to take off his panties and reach for the lube to slick my fingers. As I investigated his hole, I was surprised to find a small butt plug already inserted.
