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“It won’t.”
He shrugged. “That’s fine too. So, let’s talk.”
“Here?” My gaze darted over to the woman at the counter.
“No, in the back office. Cherise doesn’t want to hear the details, do you?” he called out the last two words.
Cherise didn’t look up from her magazine. “Sure do not, Luke.”
He grinned. “All right then. You okay with coming in the back room with me?”
I thought about it a moment.
Seeing my hesitation, he said, “We can always talk outside inmy car, or your car if you prefer. Or we could go grab a fast bite at Gourmet’s Kitchen. Up to you.”
“The back room is fine.”
“Great. It’s simpler that way.”
I followed him past more raunchy paraphernalia and into the office space of the building. It wasn’t spacious, especially since there was stock back there, but there was a desk and two chairs, and a computer with a green screen and some various numbers next to a blinking cursor.
“Have a seat,” he said, indicating the chair across from the desk.
I took it, the hard plastic cold against the back of my exposed legs.
“So, you’re Minty, and you like pain,” he said, like that was a normal opener.
I answered with the truth, though my stomach was a churning vat of acid. “Yes, I am, and I do. Kind of. And you’re Luke, and you like giving pain.”
“You can call me Sir.”
A thrill went up my spine. I hadn’t expected to like that, and yet I very much had. “Oh.”
“As Barry told you, I’m Luke Montgomery, but when you and I are together, ‘Sir’ is the correct mode of address.”
“Okay…Sir.”
“Let’s talk.”
An hour later, I was stumbling out into the orange glow of sunset with shaky knees and a rushing feeling in my veins, almost like a drug.
We’d talked, sure, but it’d been more like a business deal or a purchase.
He had a stack of papers for us to discuss—the contract Barry had mentioned, and a pages-long list of kinks. We went through that at length, with Luke asking me if I knew what each kink was—and if I didn’t, he explained it to me. He then told me to consider whether I was willing to experiment with it or not. Some were a definite yes, some were an automatic no, but he told me we didn’t need to fill the forms out right now.
He said he was an exclusive top, and my HIV positive status was of no worry to him because he was positive too. He told me that’s why there were options on the list for going bare. It was up to me if I wanted to include cum play in our time together.
“You don’t need to decide today,” he’d said. “There’s no rush to this. Take the papers home. Think about everything. Research the kinks at a library if you need to. Talk to Barry. Call me to ask questions. I’m happy to go over any part of this again. Whatever it takes for you to feel safe and ready. Or, if that never happens, I’m all right with that too.”
Safe and ready?
Remembering his phrase, I rolled my eyes. Safe wasn’t what I wanted to feel. If anything, I wanted to feel at risk. Always.
I rolled my truck’s windows down, letting the breeze flow over me, cooling my hot skin. I should tell him. Let him know right now I was never going to get what I needed from him and exactly why that was. I was wasting his time and my own, pretending I could be hurt in a “safe” way and be satisfied.
Gathering my nerve, I got out of my truck and went back inside. I walked right by Cherise and straight into the back room. Luke looked up in surprise, but he kicked back in his cushioned office chair and crossed his legs at the ankle, a smirky smile blooming on his face as I shut the door behind me. I leaned back against it, breathing heavily, before I thrust the sheaf of papers out toward him.
“Decided already?” he asked, not reaching out to take them.
