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I choked on the next swig I took. “That’s putting it mildly.”
He gave my back a couple hard pounds. “So. Wedding. Baby. The whole package.”
“Yep.”
“Drink up, buddy, you’re gonna need it.”
One sunny August day
“I look like I have elephantiasis in this suit.” I held my hands out and turned to face my friends.
“Did you go in for your fitting?” Richard chortled on the couch, trying not to break out into a full fit of laughter.
“No time between school and work.” I shrugged.
The door of the groom’s room slammed open and Victoria stormed in. “I hate you.”
I pointed to my chest. “Me?”
“Yes, you!” She opened her robe to expose her mostly naked body with a pouchy belly. “Do you see this?”
“Um, you are pregnant, remember?” Dexter snorted and turned his back.
“Look, fuckwit, I know I’m pregnant.” She turned her glare back at me. “What I don’t know is why you made me wait.”
“And?” Confusion filled me.
“And now my dress doesn’t fit.” She screeched. “I hate you!” Victoria stormed out of the room and left us all standing there in confusion.
“What just happened?” I felt my eyes flitting around to each of my friends, who all looked equally confused.
Outside the room, we heard screaming and howling and my dad slipped inside, loosening his tie.
“Um, Victoria would like to reschedule the wedding.” He pressed his lips together, fighting a smile.
“Is she staying with her parents?” I felt my left eye twitch.
“No. She said to tell you she would meet you at the apartment.”
“Wait.” Ethan chuckled. “Is that what she said was small?”
“Yes.” My dad gave a single nod. “If I was a drinking man …” He busted up laughing. “Oh, wait, I am!” The room went silent, and he cleared his throat. “Recovery humor?”
Richard got up and went over to my dad. “I’m glad you got sober.”
“I’m sorry your old man hasn’t tried.” He pulled him in for a hug. “You are nothing like your father.”
“Thanks, Mr. Walsh.”
“Look, gentlemen, the food is paid for, the room is ours.” Dad patted Richard’s back. “Put it to use.”
I watched him leave and then stripped out of the suit and back into my jeans and tee. “We can party in style!”
The guys cheered and followed my lead, changing clothes. We left the room and made our way to the private party room. People from all over were crammed together for a celebration that wasn’t happening.
My mother walked over, glaring at me. “You had to make her wait, didn’t you?”
“I know this is going to sound completely ridiculous to you, but could you try being on my side for once? You know? Me? Your son?”
