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“Wait. There are trolls in this story?” Gigi asked.
“Who cares about the story?” Cole said. “I’m stuck on the fact that there are trolls at all.”
“Yes, there are trolls. They live in the troll realm,” Merry said. “Turns out they’re a lot smaller than I expected, but I guess in their realm, they’re huge. Anyway, despite their size, they are mean. Which makes them perfect for running a B&B in Hell, right? But that’s all beside the point, because no, Gigi, there are no trolls in this story. The troll arrived and I made good on my escape. I have no idea how things are going with the troll and the B&B back in hell, but I’ve heard no complaints, so I imagine things are just fine. Not that I told anyone where I was going once I left my sister’s place.”
The entire time Merry was speaking, she was working her way through an amazing amount of chocolate. Despite talking non-stop and eating non-stop, she never seemed to be doing both at the same time.
Even though he watched the chocolate going into her mouth and disappearing at a rapid rate, Sam never saw any evidence of food in her mouth. How was she doing this?
“So my dad and I made a deal. Since I’d found someone to care for the Bed & Breakfast, he would let me leave Hell, but only if I agreed to stay with my sister and her coven for a while. Except, you know what? I may be a quarter-witch, but that doesn’t mean I belong with the witches, if you know what I mean.”
“Wait, you’re also a witch?” Sam asked. Was it getting a little hard to breathe in the bar?
“Well, technically, yes, I am, but I don’t really feel like one. I mean, okay, I do know how to cast a spell or two, or a couple thousand, but that doesn’t really mean anything. After all, I knew almost immediately that the coven wasn’t the place for me, and maybe that had more to do with sisters than with witches, since Tempest and me, we don’t really get along all that great.
“I mean, I guess we do, I love her, of course, since she’s my sister and all—well, half-sister really—but the thing is, she’s kind of got that big-sister, I-know-better-than-you thing going on, and ever since she found her coven of sister-witches, well, I guess there’s a brother-witch too, but regardless, ever since she found her coven, it’s like she doesn’t need me anymore—not that she ever did.
“Seeing as her coven was already complete when I arrived, though, I felt somewhat superfluous, kind of like that eighth pixie no one ever needs. I mean, I guess maybe it was the eleventh or twelfth pixie, since some of the witches were mated by then, which would be so much worse, but since their mates aren’t witches, I was all about pretending that I was just the eighth pixie, not some super inflated, horrid number like eleven or twelve.
“Anyway, the point is I didn’t feel like I belonged with the witches either, so I was like, where can I go where maybe I’ll fit in for once in my life?
“I mean, I don’t fit in with the demons because apparently I’m always riling them up, according to my father, but what does he know? It’s not like he’s an expert on demons, just because he’s the Lord of the Nine Realms and the Prince of Darkness. I mean, how ridiculous is that?”
“Wait, what’s that about your father?” Sam asked, but she kept barreling on, not even pausing at his question.
“So basically, I’m not demonic enough for Hell, or too demonic for Hell as the case may be, I mean, that’s really what the situation is, and not witchy enough for the witches, or maybe just too witchy for my sister to manage to live in the same town with me.
“So that’s how I decided I should keep looking for a place where I belong, and honestly, the fairies seemed the right place to start, considering I’m also a quarter-fairy.”
“Hold on a minute, hold up. You’re a what now?” Sam demanded.
“I’m a quarter-fairy.”
“I feel faint,” Sam said.
“Let me get this straight,” Adam said slowly, a huge grin on his face. “You’re half-demon, one-quarter witch and one-quarter fairy.”
“Yep. It’s a pretty awesome combination if you asked me.”
“This is the most entertainment we’ve had around here in a long time,” Cole observed.
“I feel faint,” Sam repeated.
“What’s wrong with you, Sam?” Merry asked.
“Oh, nothing. Nothing at all. I’m just a little, uh, overwhelmed.”
“Huh. I can’t imagine why.”
“The wolf looks like he’s going to bolt,” Bygul observed.
“Well, that won’t do,” Tivali said.
“Not if he’s her mate,” Muezza said. “Someone needs to remind him of why she’s worth it.”
“Oh, don’t worry,” Soraya flicked her tail. “I opened the door to the pudding cabinet right before Phoenix stepped into the kitchen. She’s back there now, chilling it to perfection.”
“And how is that going to help?” TIvali demanded.
