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Unfortunately, she had also discovered the dangers of rollerskating, the monstrous terror of wasps (demonic little creatures that never should have been allowed to migrate from Hell, not that anyone wanted them there either) and lima beans (nasty bits of cotton, those).
Thankfully, Merry’s adventures in the world of food didn’t end with the lima beans.
Humans were truly ingenious when it came to combining ingredients for consumption and she soon discovered the bliss of pizza, ice cream and Dr. Pepper, the latter of which had the unfortunate side effect of making her belch fire.
This didn’t stop her from drinking Dr. Pepper, of course. It was simply too delicious to give up, which would explain the slightly scorched status of both the steering wheel and the dash of her car.
Beyond the delights of pizza and ice cream and Dr. Pepper, though, she had discovered the most sublime, wondrous invention of the ages.
Chocolate.
Glorious, divine nectar of the demons.
She was pretty certain Satan had invented chocolate to control the masses. Too bad for him, she was his daughter, and therefore, his ability to control her was pretty much zero.
Which made her think of the town she’d just left.
She winced as she remembered the latest fire she’d set from all the belching.
Tempest had screeched the loudest, shouting that even Pippa, the firestarter of the coven, hadn’t caused as much damage in a year as Merry had in a month.
Whatever.
She’d fixed it with her magic, hadn’t she? And the library was even better than ever, if she did say so herself. She’d created an entire hidden section, devoted to the underworld and demons. She might also have created a tiny little doorway between the Underworld and that hidden room, just for her and any other demon clever enough to discover it.
She’d made it super tiny though, so really, the only ones that might find it were the pixies. Well, and maybe the hell-kittens.
She thought about that for a moment, then shrugged.
Oh, well.
From what she could see, Zero, Kansas could use a bit of excitement, especially now that she’d left the town in her rearview mirror.
Reaching over for some more of her delicious snacks, Merry was horrified to discover the chocolate covered peanut container was empty.
She tossed it onto the floorboard, where it joined a plethora of empty bags and containers that at one time had been filled with M&Ms, chocolate-covered raisins, candy bars, cookies, brownies, and pretty much every dessert with chocolate she could eat one-handed.
At the beginning of the road trip, she’d tried to eat a giant bowl of chocolate mousse while driving, but found it to be an extremely frustrating experience as the treat didn’t always make it into her mouth.
What a tragedy that was.
Now, with barely an hour to go, all the chocolate in the car seemed to be gone.
Except—she grabbed the chocolate shake sitting in her cup holder and tried to suck up the very last dregs of that chocolatey goodness. Sadly, all she got was a bunch of air.
Damn!
One quick detour later and Merry walked out of a gas station with her arms full. She dumped everything into the front passenger seat, scooped all the trash off the floorboard, glanced around and hoofed it to the bin nearby.
She hesitated for one long moment, arms full of plastic destruction, then dumped it all in the bin, murmuring, “Farewell, you earth-destroying receptacles of delight. You have served me well.”
“Mrawr.”
She froze two steps away and closed her eyes.
“Mrawr, mrawr.”
“Oh, come on!” She glared around her, looking for someone, anyone, who might be better suited to handle this horrifying development. Unfortunately, there were no other cars or people in sight.
