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"Wow, that's... I don't know what to say. Copies of me? Like clones?"
"Holographic copies," she emphasised. "Their movements can be controlled by the shuttle's AI or manually by me. If you tell me where you want them to go and how to behave, we can even stay in here and don't have to get too close to the cloudlings."
"Cloudlings?" I laughed. "That’s funny, one of my sheep back on Kyven is called that. And I suppose we can try it. They're already all over the road, so it won't do any harm. Although I would like to be outside with them. It's easier to get a feel for the mood of the flock when I can observe them up close.”
I could see Atina wasn't comfortable with the thought of joining the flock. "You can stay inside and control my doubles from here. How will you know which one is the real me?"
She winked at me. "I couldn't mistake you even for your own clone."
Was that a compliment? I wasn't sure, so I simply smiled and put on my coat. I wasn't wearing the best shoes for herding sheep, but once we got back to the spaceship, the magic clothes cleaner there could get rid of all the mud I would most likely attract.
Atina did something on the shuttle controls. I didn't even try to understand what was flashing across the screens. She muttered something to herself while I mentally prepared myself for the task. I'd never dealt with such a huge flock at once. Hopefully, these holographic doppelgangers would make the job easier, or at least possible.
"Ready," the Kyven announced. I was glad she looked like herself again with her vivid blue hair and skin. "They're waiting for you outside."
That sounded ominous. I took a deep breath and stepped out of the van-shuttle.
Even though I knew what awaited me, I still had to do a double take. It was like staring into ten mirrors at once, except that the images in the mirrors moved independently from me. Ten Heathers stood in a semi-circle around the van, wearing exactly the same things as me, their hair in the same loose ponytail as my own.
This had to be the craziest thing I'd ever seen in my life.
"Are you alright?" Atina asked from within the shuttle. "You're not moving."
"I just need a moment. This is freaky. Is this what I look like from the back? My neck is all weird."
"Your neck is perfect."
Okay, that was a compliment. Was she flirting with me? Even after I'd pushed her back? Not that I'd sent particularly clear signals by kissing her a second time. It had been a spur of the moment thing when I'd realised that she'd given up her own disguise just to save me an uncomfortable encounter with my neighbour who would ask way too many questions about my disappearance. It had been such a selfless thing that I'd reacted without thinking. Kissing her had been the first thing on my mind.
What did that say about my feelings for her? Those hadn't diminished at all, on the contrary, but what I'd told her earlier was still the truth. Our lives were so very different, which was becoming clearer with the second. She was working some crazy alien technology-slash-magic, while I was about to herd sheep. We weren't compatible in the long run. It was a nice holiday romance, but I doubted it could turn into more.
"Is something wrong?" Atina called.
"No, I'll start now! Can you make the doubles follow me closely and then spread out when I give the signal? I don't want the sheep to run before they're in the right position."
"I can do even better than that." A moment later, my doppelgangers were gone. "Just tell me when to turn them on again. I'll be able to hear you, the shuttle's mics are tuned into your sound waves."
Not being surrounded by ten holographic Heathers instantly made me feel better. I wasn't a vain person, on the contrary. I'd spent most of my life caked in mud rather than make up, so staring into a mirror wasn't something I did a lot.
I slowly walked towards the closest sheep, careful as not to spook it. Now that the herd had stopped moving, they were spread out across the road and the neighbouring meadows, quite a distance from the enclosure they were supposed to be in. This wasn't going to be easy.
My last herding job on Earth. That realisation caused my throat to tighten. Maybe it was for the best. One big, glorious goodbye to this life. When my cousin and I had left a year ago, everything had gone so fast that I'd barely had time to process what was happening. This was what I'd needed, not visiting our old farm. One last time as a shepherd.
I stopped walking.
One last time. Was that it? The solution to it all? Instead of doing one last shepherding job on Earth, it would also be the last time overall? Was I ready to give it all up, not just on Earth, but on Kyven, too? I'd tried to continue living my life there as I had back home, but it clearly wasn't making me happy. I saw how much happier my cousin was. She'd found the life she wanted. I hadn't...yet.
"Should I start the holo generator?" Atina's voice was right in my ear, sounding as if she stood next to me.
"No, wait a moment... I need to think."
I knew that sounded silly, but this moment felt strangely profound. One of those moments that could change a life forever.
I looked at the herd of sheep all around me. I'd spent most of my life being surrounded by animals. I loved them. I'd thought I'd do this until I was too old to continue. But now things were different. My old dreams were no longer what I wanted, although it had taken me until now to realise that. Being a shepherd on my own little farm wasn't my only ambition any longer. I wanted more.
I wasn’t quite sure exactly what more was but I knew it included Atina somehow. I just had to figure out how to make it happen without playing with her heart.
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