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I begged the nurses to let me out of my hospital room, and I sat next to him through all of it, shocked to see how scared it made me. Even knowing how I betrayed him, I hadn’t fully processed the risk of losing him until I saw the bullet in his leg, and the fear that gripped my heart—clenched it tightly and refused tolet it go—bled into another kind of emotion. Maybe not yet love but deep affection.
When Neil’s doctor finally broke the news that he would be okay, I pulled my chair as close as the bulky hospital bed would allow, and I listened to Neil tell me the whole story of his time on the island.
“Everything I told you before about my past was true,” he explained. “About my rough upbringing, the attempted suicides, and about finding my family on the island. I was scared to give it all up, but I tried, over and over. I told Logan, Doug, and Greta that I was planning on reporting the first murder, that I wanted to tell the police exactly what happened to Jacinta. But they swore that if I did, they would frame me for it. And when the bodies kept piling up, I repeated my threats, but they wouldn’t let me say anything. You saw what they tried to do to you at Frangipani. I had been in that position, with no one else to protect me. They knew what they could do to me, and they reminded me often.
“I could never leave. Greta even took my passport and hid it somewhere in her house, exactly like she did with Alice. But even after everything, I still loved them,” he choked through tears. “It’s hard to explain, but they were still my family.”
I can only imagine how hard this has been for him. Losing two of his best friends to death, two to prison, realizing he never really knew any of them. I watched him call Greta’s name at Frangipani as he lay waiting for his stretcher to be hauled into the ambulance. The police allowed her to go to his side, the rest of us giving them privacy. I was several steps away, too far to hear what they said over the rush of the rain, but I watched their short exchange, saw the glint of tears in Neil’s eye as Greta walked away from him forever.
I had been terrified that he would never be able to forgive me for publishing my post, but as we sat there in the hospital, he looked clearly into my eyes and squeezed my hand. “If you hadn’t done what you did, I never would have left. You saved me.” And every piece of me believed him.
He’ll be okay, and so will I. We can move forward now, no longer surrounded by ghosts. We can travel, work, live. Together.
The police questioned him extensively, pulling up a chair to his hospital bed, just like I did, and ordering me out of the room for hours at a time. After several anxiety-ridden days, the police finally explained that they wouldn’t be pressing charges. Because he had provided so much information implicating Greta, Doug, and Frederic, Neil was free to go. He and I both cried that night, my arms wrapped around his, until his lips touched mine again. And at that moment, it felt like everything we had been through had been worth it.
Neil and I agreed that we would take things slow. I knew I wanted to keep moving, and so did he. After all the media attention around the island, offers from outlets flooded my email, and I decided to take a position with an American magazine that offered me a semipermanent post specializing in travel. The only catch was that my beat would be Southeast Asia. But even so, I found myself excited. Something about this place had burrowed under my skin. I felt like I owed myself more time to explore. And Neil agreed.
We would travel and room together, saving money as we went, but our relationship would otherwise move at its own pace. It isn’t conventional, but neither are we.
We watch in silence as the mountains retreat farther. I feel a prick at the backs of my eyes as I think of all the lives I’m leavinghere and the women who will never be able to move on. But I feel a warmth radiating from the Ziploc bag inside my pocket. Cass’s ashes.
The police had reluctantly turned them over to me when they realized they had no legal relatives or next of kin to contact. I promised Cass I would bring her on my adventures. I’d take her away from this island to other countries, leaving her scattered on the beaches and mountain ridges she and her sister only ever dreamed of visiting.
A tear escapes from the corner of my eye, and I feel Neil squeeze my hand.
“We’ll be okay,” I say aloud, and he nods, understanding what I mean. It’s a promise. To him and me.
And for the first time, I actually believe it.
EPILOGUE
NEIL
I run my tongue along my lips, savoring the salt that the sea air has deposited there.
“You go and get some sleep. It’s going to be a long ride to the mainland,” I say, stroking her hair. Brooke reaches up on her toes and gives me a small kiss before heading back inside the ferry cabin. A small spark shoots through me as I watch her. Not happiness, exactly, but something close. Victory.
Even in my wildest dreams, I couldn’t have asked for a better outcome, everything wrapped up so tight and perfect, all leaking holes dammed. The police bought it, hook, line, and sinker, and so did the doctors. So did Brooke.
I had told Doug and Greta to take the lead that night at Frangipani. I knew I had to be extra cautious in the wake of Brooke’s Instagram post. I’d hold back, I told them, until they needed me. But things got out of hand fast, too fast. They underestimated Brooke—we all did—and who would have thought Cass had it in her to take a bullet for someone? As soon as I saw that, I knew the tide hadturned. And while all the others were consumed with Cass, bleeding out in front of us, I spotted lights from the courtyard, and I knew what that meant. It was time for the rats to leave the ship. I’d come prepared, of course, bringing one of the scuba knives we kept at the shop. It was a risk, stabbing Logan. But I did what I had to do, just like always.
And just like always, it worked out.
I didn’t correct Cass or Brooke that night when they spouted their conclusions about the deaths. I nodded when they accused Logan of killing Jacinta. And I made sure to look over at Doug when Brooke asked about who killed Daniel. That didn’t take much persuasion.
It was almosttooeasy. Logan kissing Jacinta while Cass looked on. This shit could write itself! How pathetic. The bastard was about to be engaged, but as soon as he saw Jacinta, he couldn’t keep his dick in his pants. I mean, yeah, she was gorgeous, but Logan’s always been weak. She told me about the kiss later that day, how Logan had asked her to lunch, how he tried to slide his tongue into her mouth, how she was too shocked to act at first but then came to her senses and pushed him away.
She told me all that during our dinner date that night, both of us laughing over how stupid Logan was, how he couldn’t tell that Jacinta only had eyes for me.
And then, after a few hours of drinking at Frangipani, I promised her the most romantic sunrise of her life if she’d go for a predawn hike with me. By then, she was eating out of my hand. And once we were up on Khrum Yai, the sun just barely breaking over the water, I pushed her.
I know I’m not supposed to shit where I eat, but I had been good for so long.
And it was all just so damn easy. All it took was one quick shove, and that was that, finally feeding the impulse that vibrated through me. I watched as her body flipped over the cliff, as her bones cracked against the jagged rocks below. It really was beautiful.
Then that little bitch came to the island asking questions. Lucy. I made it clear to the others how bad this was for all of us. It didn’t take much persuading. Hell, Greta even handled Lucy on her own. I couldn’t help but beam with pride when I saw her down at the beach, Lucy’s cooling body beside her.
Logan took a bit more work. He didn’t want anyone to get hurt, he told me. Pussy. So I told him what I knew. That he had kissed Jacinta less than twelve hours before her body was found and he had no alibi for the time of her death. I reminded him how it would look to the police, a spurned man getting revenge.
