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“I’ll switch to sodas,” I said. “I need the sugar rush.”
“How you’re not an obese diabetic blows my mind,” Jack said.
“Hey, I eat my vegetables and mostly healthy meals,” I said. “I just need little snacks and pick-me-ups to get through the day. Those calories don’t count because they get burned up fast since I’m in between meals.”
Jack shook his head. “Aren’t you supposed to be a doctor?”
“Yep, and that’s the theory I’m sticking to. You’ve got seven minutes to make a taco appear in my hand.”
“Good thing I work best under that kind of pressure,” he said.
“You work best under all kinds of pressure,” I said. “I’ll show you later. But tacos first.”
He laughed and got in line at the drive-thru. “It’s just after noon. Why does it feel like we’ve already put in a full day’s work?”
“Because we have,” I said.
“Let’s take all this back to the office,” Jack said. “I want to touch base with Cole on Cami Downey, and the roommate crew are supposed to come in at half hour intervals starting at one thirty for interview.”
“Your ability to multitask is very sexy,” I said. “I suppose I need to check in with Sheldon and make sure no one drowned at the funeral this morning.”
“Was that a concern?” Jack asked, taking bags of tacos from the girl at the window.
“He was having dreams about pushing Mrs. Lichner into the coffin with her husband.”
Jack winced. “I can see how you might be concerned. You just never know with Sheldon. I wouldn’t be surprised to see his picture on a milk carton because he’d been kidnapped, but I also wouldn’t be surprised if I saw his picture pop up on America’s Most Wanted.”
“He’s versatile, our Sheldon,” I said.
Thinking of Sheldon and Mrs. Lichner had me a little worried, so I called him on the way back to the sheriff’s office.
“Everything’s fine,” Sheldon said when he answered the phone.
That was not the typical greeting and I immediately became suspicious. “What happened?” I asked.
He was silent on the other end of the line.
“Sheldon?”
“I figured you’d already gotten a phone call,” he said. “Sometimes it’s easier to relay the story when you already know what’s coming.”
“You are not putting me at ease, Sheldon,” I said, glancing at Jack. His eyes were on the road but his lips were twitching.
“Well…” Sheldon said.
“Did you push Mrs. Lichner into her husband’s grave?”
Sheldon gasped. “Of course not,” he said. “But Mrs. Lichner’s sister warned me when the family showed up that all of Bruce’s brothers had hosted a wake at the house last night. They were all drunk when they showed up this morning.”
“What about Mrs. Lichner?” I asked.
“She can sure hold her liquor,” he said. “A woman can typically only have four drinks within a two-hour period before she starts to suffer from alcohol poisoning.”
“But Mrs. Lichner beat that?”
“She was drinking something that smelled like cherry cough syrup from a flask in her purse all through the ceremony. Her sister said she watched her drink a bottle of wine with her waffles that morning, and that on the way to the funeral in the limo one of Bruce’s brothers gave her a shot of moonshine.”
“It’s a wonder she could stand up straight,” I said.
