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Leonardo approaches me, his lips coming to my ear, and Nik’s jaw clenches. I’m afraid his teeth will snap from the force of it. “Are you fucking doing what I think you’re doing?” I stiffen at his question, and my breaths stall in my lungs. “If I catch you staring at a Russian like that one more time, I’ll break your fucking neck. Do you get that?”
All the air expels from my lungs. “I don’t know what you’re talking about?” I force out, surprised my voice isn’t even shaking as I lie.
“You better not.” He says through gritted teeth, his lips against the shell of my ear, bringing a feeling of revolt through my body. “I’ll fucking kill him, and then you too.”
“I’m not stupid, Leo.” I look at him, pulling away. His eyes are dilated, his jaw set just like Nik’s, but I don’t dare look at him again. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to use the bathroom before class.”
“Whatever.”
I get up from the chair and head to the bathroom, take care of business, and wash my hands. The bathroom is right in the cafeteria, so I sneak a glance at the table where Nik is supposed to be sitting, but it’s now empty. Disappointment and regret fill me, and I suddenly wish I could sit with him instead of Leo every day.
Looking at my watch, I notice the first bell is about to ring, so I make my way to my locker. The hallways are empty, with no one by the maroon lockers. When I open mine, it’s deafening. Creepy, even. My skin prickles, the little hairs on the back of my neck standing up, and then I feel a hard body against my back, his groin pressed against me. I tense but then smell the vanilla and sandalwood and relax.
“Hi,” I tell him in a breathy tone, noticing the way he presses harder against me. “You jealous?”
“Always, princess,” he grits out. “I just had to say hi, though.”
“So say it,” I reply, staying very still.
Nik’s breath comes to my ear, his lips brushing against it. “Hi, kid.”
My breath comes out in a whoosh as I feel him harden against me, and he immediately pulls back. But I turn around and grip his wrist before he can walk away. He stays, surprising me, and looks into my eyes. My free hand reaches out to touch his face, my fingers brushing his cheek, and he closes his eyes. With his left hand, he holds mine to his face, then brings the palm of my hand to his lips and brushes a soft kiss against it.
I groan. “I miss you.”
He smiles against my hand. “I’ll see you tonight.”
Nik dips down and brushes his lips against my cheek. “See you tonight,” I breathe.
The bell rings and breaks our spell, and we quickly pull apart before we’re discovered.
The worst part?
This is how it always will be.
And that breaks my heart.
It’s my engagement party tonight, a non-negotiable clause before my marriage to Leonardo. I want to be here about as much as I want to chop off one of my pinkies, but it’s something that, unfortunately, I have no control over. Worst of all, I can’t stop thinking about Nikolai, which is quite annoying. Tonight I must be presentable for this stupid party, not moping over some guy.
I roughly zip up the back of my red body-con dress, contemplating how to escape this life. I could kill myself and end it all, save myself a sorry existence. I know I’m going to hate whatever comes from this; there’s no doubt about it. I’ll be stripped of my independence and made to be humiliated by my husband for the rest of my life.
Standing in this bridal suite while people get me ready for the engagement party… all I feel is a sense of doom. Dread sits heavy in the pit of my stomach as I look at myself in the mirror, looking prettier than ever. I just wish it wasn’t for him. It’s not that Leo is the worst person out there—although he can be when he sets his mind to it—we used to be best friends once upon a time, after all, but he’s also not honorable. He’s shown me his true colors over the last few years. He’s broken my heart countless times and never bothered to put it back together.
“Beautiful,” mymammasays. “Just gorgeous.”
“We’re proud of you,bambina mia,”Papàtells me, and that feeling in my stomach returns.
It feels like I have to throw up, like nothing is going to be okay. Maybe Iambetter off dead than going through with this. Images of my brother fill my mind, him at the entrance of the house, left to die there. Me doing CPR on him and calling the police. Blood pouring out of his mouth. Sobs threaten to claw their way up my throat and I whimper.
“What’s wrong, Camilla?”Papàasks me, eyes full of concern.
“Andrea should be here,Papà.”
He sucks in sharp breath and tears stream down my mother’s face, which she quickly dabs with a tissue one of the ladies in the room hands her.
“Sorry,” I tell them, hanging my head, knowing damn well what this does. So I apologize for hurting them when it hurts me too, if not more.
Andrea and I were closer than my older brother Alessandro and I. We used to do everything together before I went off to college, and then again when he joined me. It’s too bad he only had a short six months before he was abruptly taken from me. Taken by a monster who ravages every part of me and leaves me with nothing.
