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Blake’s chin rested on his fists, which were propped on his knees as he leaned toward the fire. He sat opposite Marissa and me again, just as he did every time we congregated at the campfire.
“He’s watching you again,” Marissa whispered under her breath.
It had become our ritual. To sit around the fire, Blake watching me, and Marissa pointing out the obvious.
Since the night by the lake, I had tried my hardest to avoid him. Whenever our paths crossed, I smiled and offered him a polite hello, but I couldn’t give him more than that yet. It was too soon.
Too raw.
Besides, I didn’t know if he even wanted more after the way I’d fled from him.
Lucky Penny.
That nickname had once made me feel like I could survive anything. Ithadhelped me survive so much. But now it was a distant memory—the kind that felt more like a dream than reality.
Marissa nudged me in the side, snapping me from my memories, and when my eyes refocused, Blake was no longer looking in my direction.
My heart sank.
Which was silly.
Seven years was a long time. We didn’t owe each other anything anymore.
“The next buses arrive at five in the afternoon tomorrow, so the next twenty-two hours are yours to do as you please.”
“Except each other,” Malakai called out, causing the whole camp to burst into fits of laughter. I smiled, but the joke was lost on me.
“Okay, smart aleck, you know where to find us if you need us. Enjoy your downtime. The lake is warm this time of year if you catch my drift.” Troy waved his hand in the air behind him as he and Tina headed back toward the central cabin, a rumble of laughter following them.
A couple of the guys stood up and yelled, “Last one in cooks.”
They set off in the direction of the lake, peeling off their clothes as they went. Without stopping, they both leaped off the dock and bombed into the water, a huge splash rising in the air.
Marissa chuckled as she stood. “You game?” She yanked her tank over her head and stood there in front of everyone in just her shorts and bra.
“Oh, I don’t think so.” I pulled my arms tighter, suddenly feeling self-conscious.
She shrugged, unbuttoning her shorts and shimmying them down her toned legs. “Suit yourself. Keep hold of my clothes for me. Last year, some jackass hid them, and I had to walk back to the cabin half-naked.”
Marissa took off, catching up with Sheridan and Sam, who had already stripped down to their underwear. I scooped up her clothes and walked down closer to the water, taking a seat on one of the overturned trunks.
As I watched everyone swimming in the lake, a feeling of sadness washed over me. Here I was, one of the oldest counselors—most of the others still in college—and yet, the most sheltered.
I had never experienced this. I had never been a carefree student able to throw caution to the wind and live wild and free and a little bit reckless.
I was a prisoner of my past, and for all my progress over the last few months, I was still captive to my fears.
“This seat taken?”
My breath caught and I sucked in a shaky breath as the person I’d been trying hard to avoid sat down beside me.
“You’re not going in?” Blake asked.
I shook my head, my fingers finding the edge of the carved-out bark. I dug them in, feeling the rough edge bite into my skin, but I welcomed the sensation, needing it to ground me. The hot sticky days made wearing my hair elastic difficult, so I found myself finding other ways to manage my intrusive thoughts.
Blake’s presence brought out too many intense emotions in me, and I wasn’t used to feeling so out of control. On the one hand, I wanted to run far away again like the night I’d first found him across the fire, but part of me—the part that remembered—wanted to bask in him. To reach out and touch him to make sure this wasn’t a dream. To confirm that the guy I’d given my heart to such a long time ago was really here.
“I’m sorry about the other night,” he said, staring out at the lake.
