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My feelings were all over the place. I was confused and weary, but most of all, I was hurting.
Hurting over things that had happened years ago. Things that were out of my control.
Things that could have been so different.
After his revelations, Blake went on to explain that he’d lived with his uncle Anthony and aunt Miranda until the summer before he was nineteen, at which point he enrolled in Ohio State University to study sociology.
Upon leaving the Freemans’ house, he had gotten into some trouble. Angry and alone, he lashed out at everyone and anyone he could. His first summer working at Camp Chance was supposed to be his way of giving back to the community. But it ended up being more than just a chance to right his wrongs. Blake fell in love with it and had been coming back year after year.
Since our talk two days ago, something had been bugging me, eating away at me like a slow-spreading poison. Even though Blake had filled in some of the blanks, I felt like he hadn’t given me any details, not really, and there was still so much I didn’t know about him.
It was a constant reminder of how much time had passed between us.
A stark realization that we weren’t the same people anymore.
“Penny, it’s time,” Marissa said, and I pouted at her.
Saying goodbye to this group was going to be hard. I had developed a soft spot for these girls, especially Lucy. Even Erica, despite her ongoing resistance to the program—and me.
“Come on. The girls want to say goodbye.”
I rose from the bed, chock full emotion. Goodbyes were something I avoided. Another residual behavior from my past.
Outside, six sullen faces greeted us.
“This sucks.” Lucy stepped forward, her head hung low, emotion cracking her voice.
In an attempt to make her feel better, I ruffled her hair and bent down to her level. “You should be so proud of everything you have achieved, Lucy. No one can take these two weeks away from you. They’re stored in here.” I tapped my head. “And here.” I moved my hand to my chest, right above my heart.
“Now, does everyone have everything?” Marissa cut the tension, and I glanced up at her, hoping she would know how to make this easier.
The girls nodded, and we set off toward the parking lot where the buses were waiting. The rest of the kids were already there, and I swallowed over the lump in my throat as I watched the kids hugging their new friends and exchanging phone numbers.
It was bittersweet, but it filled my heart with hope knowing that most of the kids passing through the program were leaving with a few more allies in their corner and a whole heap of memories no one could ever take from them.
“Okay, guys, five minutes to say your final goodbyes.” Marissa wrapped her arm around me, and I bristled.
I couldn’t help it.
She knew I didn’t feel comfortable when someone touched me, but she had been pushing my boundaries lately. She hadn’t come right out and asked what the issue was yet, but she was doing a good job of trying to force me to face my fears.
“Penny, can I talk to you in private?” Erica stood awkwardly, looking down at her feet.
I ducked out of Marissa’s hold, instantly feeling myself relax.
“Of course, you can.”
She gave us some space, and I motioned to the bench off to the side. Once seated, I turned to Erica and waited.
She let out a resigned sigh. “I just wanted to say sorry for giving you a hard time. I know you’ve only been trying to help me, and I’ve been a total bitch, and now, it’s time to go back, and I don’t want to leave.”
Her eyes filled with tears, and I had to gulp down my own emotion. Anguish etched into her expression and all I wanted was to take away her pain.
This was a teenage girl who was confused and scared and alone, and I related to that more than she would ever know.
Clearing my throat, I forced a smile and said, “It has been my pleasure getting to know you, Erica. You are smart and determined, even if you are determined to do the opposite of everyone else.”
She managed a small laugh at that.
