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I try not to think too much about it. If I do, I won’t be able to fight back the tears.
Saint squeezes me, then tugs me against his chest, so I can’t keep looking out the window. “Stop staring, Caroline.”
I bury my face against him and release a heavy sigh. “I’m sorry. Let’s talk about something to keep my mind off it.”
He chuckles, making his chest vibrate against me. His warm, strong arms hold me steady, the same way they have for so many years, and immediately comfort me, releasing some of the anxiety. “Well, I was thinking…”
I look up at him. “Yeah?”
His dark eyes twinkle with mischief. “Maybe we make doing sleepovers at various houses more of a regular thing.”
The promise in his gaze makes that heat flood my cheeks and between my legs again. “I think that’s a good idea, but we’ll have tohostall the kids at some point.”
And it’s hard enough to find alone time withtwoin the house, let alone if we had the whole crew running around. Bishop can occupy herself practicing her jiu jitsu or tae kwon do, and Pope is constantly studying, but they always manage to need us at the most inopportune times. When all the kids are over, it’s an absolute madhouse.
Saint offers a shrug of his wide shoulders. “I have ways to keep you quiet.” He starts chuckling and brushes the hair back from my face. “You should have seen how wide your eyes just got, Bambi.” He leans down and nips at my ear. “You going to run?”
I grin against his cheek at the memory of the familiar words and loop my arms around his neck. “No, I told you I’m never running again.”
“I don’t know, Bambi. But…I kind of like it when you make it hard for me.”
“Oh, I have absolutely no trouble getting you hard.”
His bark of laughter floats through the room, mingling with the sounds of “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.” The front door opens. I tense slightly, but Saint gives me a squeeze and glances over to the table in the corner where Gabe and Landon have settled to play a game of Scrabble.
“Maybe we should join them, so you don’t stare at the kid.”
I press my lips together. “Stop it. I’m good.”
“Okay.”
He watches me like he isn’t so sure, and I peek around him as Luca, Byron, and Jude enter the foyer. Luca squats in front of the kid and says something to him I can’t hear with the music filling my ears, then motions toward the dining room. Jude leans around the corner to examine it, and Luca pushes to his feet and leads him toward the kitchen.
The boy stares at us in the living room with wide, striking blue eyes, and Nora offers him a kind smile, though I can see the pain she’s trying to hide after what she saw and knowing what she does about his history.
Nana will take care of him, though, and welcome him with open arms, just like she did with the rest of us—Saint, Luca, Byron, and me, even Gabe—none of us are Hawkes by blood, but we’re Hawkes in every way that matters.
We are a part of this family that always has room for one more lost soul.
* * *
SAINT
Despite the holiday music floating around us, the barks of laughter, and the overall good vibes, tension still permeates the air. This family loves too hard and cares too much not to all feel deeply for Jude and what he’s been through. Each and every one of us would take his pain on ourselves so he wouldn’t have to suffer with it, but right now, all we can do is give him space and try to make him feel welcome without smothering him.
Byron enters the room, his gaze following Luca and Jude, and he releases a heavy sigh when he reaches us.
I raise a brow. “Everything okay?”
He rubs a hand on the back of his neck and shakes his head, his gaze cutting over to ensure Jude can’t hear him. “I don’t know. That’s such a hard question.”
Caroline slips through my arms and reaches out to give him a hug. “It’ll work out. It always does, right?”
Byron shrugs. “I hope so. He’s just so shut down…”
The true anguish in Byron’s words claws at my chest.
For over a decade, I’ve protected this family, done everything in my power to ensure none of us ever gets hurt or put in the position we were in when Dom Abello was in control. I never want to see that kind of pain in anyone’s eyes again, but here it is in Byron’s.
