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The service was held at a small family cemetery near the back of the property. I’d heard about it but never visited before. The farm had been in Dad’s family for more than a century and as was tradition, he would be buried alongside its former owners.
He would love it out there, surrounded by the majestic trees and wildlife he fought so hard to protect. Yet I struggled to see beyond my selfish needs. He was supposed to be with me…with us.
His loss left a gaping hole in my heart, but when I glanced around at the more than two hundred people who gathered to say their final goodbyes, I realized I wasn’t alone. He’d touched each one of them in some way, shape, or form, and those encounters meant the memory of Charlie James would live on for years to come.
“How are you holding up?”
Alec had been hovering since we returned to his parents for the reception. They’d been kind enough to offer up their home for the large gathering.
“I’m better than I was an hour ago.”
That was an understatement. I’d made it through the service by the skin of my teeth, but when it came time to lower the casket into the ground, I’d lost my mind. Alec had to physically pick me up and carry me away. He’d been so worried about me and the baby, he called in a paramedic to check me over. My blood pressure was elevated, for obvious reasons, and I’d been given strict instructions—because he phoned my OB/GYN as well—to sit down as much as possible.
“Quinny, my dear.” Nancy sidled up next to me on the couch with my mother shooing Alec out of the way to reach my other side. “I have something for you both from Charlie.”
“I don’t think this is the right time—” Alec started, but I held up my hand to silence him.
“What is it?”
“This.” She handed me an envelope. “You don’t have to read it now, but he asked me to give it to you after he was gone.”
Nancy stood, kissed us both on the cheek, then walked away. Alec took her spot beside me, worry evident on his handsome face.
“Shall we?” Mom asked.
I nodded; the words lodged in my throat. Opening the envelope, I unfolded the paper within, wetness pooling on my lashes when I recognized my father’s handwriting on the page.
“Together?” I took Alec’s hand.
“Together, baby.”
My dearest Millie and Quinny,
If you’re getting this letter, then I’m not with you anymore, instead I’m gazing at you from the stars. I wish I had more time to say everything swirling around in my head, but as I’m writing this letter, the two of you are busy going through our old scrapbooks, finding photos of the three of us to hang in the hallway. Memories we captured of our beautiful life together. Memories that this damn disease will steal from me without remorse. But before my brain turns to mush, I wanted to write down these words so the two of you know how much you mean to me.
Millie, my love,
We had so many plans for our future, and I’m sorry I won’t be by your side to see them through. You stood by me through thick and thin, but now it’s time for you to reignite old dreams. Go write that book, sweetheart. The world deserves to read your beautiful words. In case you’re looking for inspiration, I stored all of your old manuscripts in our lockbox at the bank. Knock ’em dead.
Quinny,
There are so many things I’m going to miss out on when it comes to you. Walking you down the aisle. Holding my first grandchild. You are the best thing that ever happened to your mother and me. I’d all but given up hope on ever being a father, then the greatest miracle of all happened. They put your tiny body in my arms and I knew right then and there that I’d never truly known what love was before. You’ve always been my ray of sunshine on a stormy day, now it’s time for you to shine bright and share your brilliance with the world. I’m so damn proud of you, Quinlan, and I love you more than all the stars in the sky.
I will love you both to the ends of the earth and will wait patiently for the day when I’ll get to see your smiles again.
Always remember, I may forget your name, or the curve of your face, but my heart will always recognize how much it loves you.
Love,
Charlie/Dad
Tears streamed down my cheeks as I finished reading, yet there was a smile on my face.
“You wrote a book?” I shifted toward Mom, who was blushing brilliantly.
“Damn him,” she chuckled. “That was supposed to be a secret.”
“Can I read it?”
