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“Well, that’s a more complicated answer I’m not sure I’m ready to give.”
Out of all my brothers, I was closest with Gabe. It had been that way since we were kids and had only gotten stronger the older we became. I wouldn’t be able to handle it if he saw me differently after he knew the truth. It was part of the reason I didn’t want to talk about what happened when I was captured. How I wished for the marks to cover my body instead of scarring my mind, maybe then I could justify feeling so…wounded.
“Five years is a long time to allow those hurts to fester, Alec. It’s well past time to let them go.” He clapped a hand on my shoulder.
“You’re right.” I dropped my head to my chest in defeat.
“I’ll text the others.”
“What?”
“If you think for one second they didn’t pick up on your distress, then you’re a fool,” he scoffed. “I simply drew the short straw.”
As he walked off, a tiny bit of the pressure, which had been bearing down on my soul for longer than I cared to admit, eased. Thirty minutes later, when Rico and Luc descended upon the warehouse, I knew my time was up.
Rather than sitting around the conference table, they each took a corner on my mat, knowing it was the one place in the building where I didn’t hold back…didn’t hide my true self. There was no push to talk, they waited until I was comfortable enough to let it all fly.
I told them every last detail. How dark and unbearably hot it was in the dirt room where we were held. The desperate pleas of my fellow soldiers, begging me to tell our captors what they wanted to know so the beatings would stop. The awful sounds of flesh meeting flesh. The coppery scent of blood mixed with a hint of salt from my own sweat.
When I searched their faces, they weren’t covered in pity like I’d expected. In fact, it was the opposite. They were furious. Whether their anger was directed at me…well, I guess I’d find out soon enough.
“Son of a bitch,” Rico spat.
“Those bastards,” Luc added.
“If they weren’t already dead, I’d hunt them down myself,” Gabe concluded.
“I’m sorry I never told you.”
“And why didn’t you?” Luc inquired.
Thinking about his question for a moment, I gave them the only answer I could. “I felt guilty.”
Gabe’s voice went cold as ice. “Say that again?”
All of the emotions I’d buried since my rescue roared to the surface. I stood and began to pace around the mat, trying to calm the raging beast who’d abruptly awakened, but it didn’t help. Nothing ever did.
“Let it out, Fratello.”
“Move out of the way, Rico.”
He stepped right in my path. My skin began to burn, like there were a million fire ants crawling across the surface. I had to leave. I turned, but Luc was there.
“Nope.” He crossed his arms over his chest. “You’ve been drowning in your own bullshit long enough.”
“Tell us, Alec. What the fuck do you have to feel guilty about?” Gabe was behind me now. There was no escape. I was trapped. My breaths were coming in short, quick pants and black spots dotted my vision.
Fuck!
“I wasn’t injured!” I screamed.
My legs trembled as I sank to the floor under the weight of my shame.
“If you think that, you’re dumber than you look,” Luc quipped, smacking me upside the head.
“What the fuck, man?” I rubbed at the spot.
“It’s what Ma would do if she were here.” He shrugged.
