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“You walked? Your brother and dad are going to be losing their fucking minds. We should get you home.” He starts to stand.
“It’s fine. I told them I was going on a long walk, and I didn’t want to speak with any of them.” I shake my head, my cheeks going pink. “After this morning, I don’t know if I ever want to see any of them again.” Instinctively I press my hand to the back of Quentin’s, and he stares down at it.
“It’s my fault. Don’t be mad at them.”
“How is it your fault?”
“I shouldn’t have touched you in the first place.”
I recoil and take a step back. “Now you’re on their side?”
He looks at me, and his face softens when he sees mine. “No, I don’t mean it like that. I mean… Fuck. I mean I don’t deserve you, Madison. You’re so fucking perfect. So smart and sweet. So kind. Just so many fucking things I’m not. They’re just trying to protect you from me.”
“I don’t want to be protected from you. I’m in love with you.” The second I blurt out the words he freezes and it feels like time stops. His eyes search mine, and I’m silently pleading with him to forget I said anything even though that’s impossible now.
But he grabs me a moment later and his lips slam down on mine, his arms wrapping around me and pressing me close. I melt into him, and I can hear a whistle from the other side of the mostly empty bar. I’m sure it’s one of the locals enjoying the midday show. He pulls away a moment later though and stares down at me—something so vulnerable on his face that it makes the blue in his eyes bright enough that I can hardly look back at him.
“Do you mean it?” he asks.
“Yes.”
“You’re sure?”
“I’m sure but—"
“I love you too. This is all moving so fast, but I just… you’re nothing like I’ve ever known, Madness. You make me feel like I can’t think straight. Can’t think about anything but you.” He kisses me again, softer this time.
“They don’t matter to me. Their opinions don’t matter to me. I just want you.” I wrap my arms around his neck and press my head to his chest. He squeezes me tight.
“I wish I could say the same. But I want what’s best for you every bit as much as I want you. I don’t know if that’s me. I want it to be, but I don’t know.” His voice shakes a little bit as he talks and I can tell this is as new for him as it is for me. That he’s going to need my reassurance as much as I need his.
“It’s you. I’ve never felt like this either. That can’t be a coincidence can it. That we both feel so strongly about it like this? That everything between us has been so easy. I just know I love you.”
“Madness…” There are tears forming in his eyes and he squints like he’s in pain before he hugs me again. “I love you. But I don’t know how we fix this.”
“Well right now, I think we get out of this bar. Pay off your tab and find some place for us to stay. We can’t go back right now obviously. But we can figure it out. We’ll figure something out. I’m not letting them separate us.”
“Is that what they want?”
“Dad wants me to go home. I told him no way was I leaving. That it’s my summer vacation and he’s being ridiculous.”
“I don’t want to piss him or Tobias off any more than I already have.”
“He just needs time to process. Tobias I mean. He’ll understand. Dad might not ever get it, but he’ll come around to accept it eventually. He always does. He’ll see what a good person you are just like I have.”
“I doubt that.”
“I don’t. Now let’s go.”
We finish paying off his tab and wander our way to the edge of town. There’s a small unassuming place that has cabins for rent along the river and I use my card to check us in when I see him falter over his own wallet. He doesn’t protest but I can tell he feels like shit about it, and I reassure him several times that it’s fine. It’s just one of the many things we’re going to figure out. Once we’re in the cabin I get him water and something to eat from the vending machines, letting him have some lunch while I explain what happened after he left.
“I wish I’d handled this differently.” He says at last, the food hitting his system hard and the sobered look on his face hurts my heart.
“I wish we’d just told Tobias. Other than that, I don’t care. What I do and who I do it with isn’t anyone’s business. I’m grown. I only wish we’d told Tobias because he’s your friend.”
“I wish we’d said something too. I need you to know Madness… I don’t regret you or what we did. Not for a second, but I regret that I fucked up so badly in how we handled it. How I handled it really…”
“I wanted you to keep it a secret. You were keeping my confidence like I asked you to. I liked it that way. And it was fun… and sexy. And… I don’t know. I don’t know how honest Lana and Lo were being but you made everything amazing for me. I don’t think many women can say that.”
