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“Bedroom, not bed, I feel like there’s a different level of debt there.”
“Yes, well you just made it clear the latter isn’t an option.” She disappears and another huff has her landing on the center of the bed again, the mattress dipping a little with the movement.
“Exactly,” I say with more conviction than I feel.
“Okay. So what would change your mind?”
Just about anything right now. My nerves are shot to shit and I’m too tired to think straight. I could use a good fuck to distract me. And she’s gorgeous and kind of sweet even if she does talk a fuck ton about Xander. Then again if she was too busy calling my name out it wouldn’t matter. I run a hand over my face before I accidentally say something like that out loud.
“Did you fall asleep?”
“Madness.” I laugh.
“Oh my god. That’s a terrible nickname. It’s not even very creative.”
“No. That was my answer.” Except after thinking for a minute, it makes sense as a nickname for her too. “But it’s a great nickname too.”
“Fine. Forget I asked. Goodnight.” There’s more movement, and the mattress squeaks and whooshes again before she settles. A moment later the fairy lights flicker off, and we’re drenched in darkness.
I sigh. “I’m sorry. I don’t know. I think it’s probably a dealbreaker for him. Maybe if you were persistent. Kept up with the seduction thing but were a little more subtle about it.”
“Subtle how?”
“I don’t know. You’re asking the wrong guy. Subtle’s not my thing. Fuck it’s not Xander’s half the time either. But when it comes to women… you can’t sell too hard with him. He’s more into the girl-next-door type.”
“That makes sense. I’m currently losing to the grocery checkout girl. But if I don’t try, I don’t think he’ll notice me at all.” There’s a sadness to her voice, and I feel guilty for teasing her. I remember what it was like having crushes when I was younger. I’d been gangly, awkward, and usually dressed in whatever thrift store finds my mom could find for half-off with a haircut I got sitting on a plastic lawn chair in her boyfriend of the week’s backyard. I know it hurts not to be noticed.
“You’re hard not to notice.” I say it before I can think through how it’ll sound. I’m just trying to comfort her, and this isn’t my strong suit. “The madness and all, I mean.”
She’s quiet for a beat, and I roll over onto my side when I think she might be done talking.
“So if I manage to tone it down while still getting his attention. Would being a virgin be a dealbreaker?” Her voice is barely above a whisper.
Oh.Fuck.
“It would definitely complicate things.”
“For you or Xander?”
“For any guy with a conscience.”
“Oh.” Is all she says in return to that.
“Goodnight, Madness.”
“Goodnight.”
And I’m not sure I have a conscience given the direction my mind’s already going. What it would be like to give her firsts. How that soft voice might sound moaning my name. What those gorgeous hips would feel like under my palms when I fucked her for the first time. I need to get a grip. I’ve fucked up enough things in my life. Fucking my best friend’s little sister would only lead to worse things. That’s assuming she could take her eyes off Xander long enough, which seems like it would be a challenge in and of itself.
Then again, I never did meet a challenge I didn’t like.
3
Madison
As we makeour way up the side of the mountain I try to pin back some of the hair that’s fallen down into my face and hit my earbud in the process. It tumbles to the ground and I gasp, stopping abruptly to stare at the ground but tripping and nearly taking Quentin and I both out in the process.
“Whoa!” He grabs my hand as I slip on the incline and start to fall.
