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“Fuck your dad and your uncle.”
“My uncle—he warned me, and I didn’t listen. He’s not a bad guy. He’s just not a very forgiving man either. He says what he means, and if you can’t respect it…” Quentin takes a deep breath. “He wasn’t wrong about my dad. I just was looking for a relationship I was never going to be able to have. I saw the other guys on the team have it, and I wanted it. I didn’t think logically about whether my dad could really be that for me.”
“I don’t blame you. You were just hoping to have a family. But you know Tobias’s relationship with our dad wasn’t all that great. Practically nonexistent now. Xander and his father’s either really.”
“Which is why we got along. We could all relate to that. Your father at least had a lot of faith in Tobias’s career. Easton’s too for that matter.”
“Only because he wanted a legacy. Not because it was out of love.”
“I think… well, it’s not for me to say.”
“No, say it.”
“I think your dad loves all three of you somewhere deep down. I just think he loves himself and his vision for you more. I think he meant well when he drove me off. He was probably right about the kind of poverty we were headed for. He didn’t want to see you go through that.”
“He didn’t want it to reflect on him. But it wasn’t his decision to make. And you’re right. That man always puts himself first, and I’m tired of it.”
“I didn’t tell you this to dredge things up and have you fighting with your dad. I’ve just been dreading you finding out from him rather than me, and I wanted to be the one to tell you.”
“Well… thank you. For telling me. It still hurts to hear… But I know we were kids back then. You weren’t much older than me, and you went through a lot worse than I ever could have imagined. We made the kind of decisions kids make because they don’t know better. I know you were just doing what you thought was right.”
“I did it because I loved you.” He turns his hand over and takes mine in his, squeezing it. “I still love you. Pretty sure I always will.”
I stare down at our hands, and I feel my heart swell and twist in my chest.
“I don’t need you to say it back. I’m not telling you all this to try to get you to say it back to me. I just don’t want this to be in the way if you ever decide this could be more between us. That you could love me again. Because I love you. I never stopped loving you. I meant it then. I mean it now. I’ll wait however long you need. But I’ll walk away too if that’s what you need from me.”
“I love you, Quentin. I’ve always loved you. I tried hard to stop. Tried hard to hate you, honestly. But even when I had to watch your games, telling myself I was going to root for you to be sacked as many times as humanly possible, I’d still find myself cheering for you.”
“But…” He looks up at me.
“But I’ve made a promise to help A.J. You and I—we work together here and if people find out about us, we could both lose our jobs. I might lose my whole career if they think I fuckevery player I work with. I’d hate to hear what the gossips would say if they think I’m dating one and fucking another. It’s dangerous for me. And all this history between us. It’s a ton of baggage. The kind that casts a shadow over everything.”
“I know. And the last thing I want is for you to wind up hurt because of me again.”
“So this is all we can be for now. Whatever this is… I know that’s probably not what you want to hear. Not enough but I… I need time to work through everything. Get my head straight, and I can’t even start thinking about that when I’m spending all my time on yours and A.J.’s careers.”
“Anything you give me—especially now that you know the whole truth—is enough. Even if it’s just forgiveness.”
“I need time. Time to process this all. Like I said, I know you were just a kid. I just… the decisions you made changed my whole life. It could have been so different, and I never even had a say.”
“Take all the time you need. I just wanted to be honest with you.”
“I appreciate the honesty. More than you know.”
We sit for a few minutes in silence before I realize I probably need to make my own confession if we’re going to clear the air like this.
“I have something I should tell you too. I haven’t brought it up yet because there hasn’t been a good time, but I don’t want you to think I’ve been keeping it from you.”
“You and A.J. secretly got married?”
“Ha. Very funny.” I roll my eyes at him. “No, it’s me and Bea. We’ve got plans. It’s why I haven’t looked for an apartment, and she’s been staying with Cooper for the time being. There’s a property we’re going to buy and renovate. Turn it into a resort for athletes to get away when they need a break—the yips, a divorce, a scandal they have to work through.”
“Like your brother?”
“Like my brother. Yes.”
“Bea mentioned it to me when she was looking for investors. I asked if I could talk to you about it on our own time. I wanted to give you a chance to bring it up or for me to find a good time.”
