AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Where are you going?”
“Back to my room. I’ll get a flight out in the morning. That was… I’m sorry. I crossed lines I shouldn’t have.” I move to leave again.
“You promised all night,” she snaps at me, and I turn back to look at her. She gives me an expectant look, as she stands there in nothing but her robe, her eyes running over the place where I’m touching the door in disappointment.
“I… what?” I blink. “I’m sorry. I should go. We can discuss it when you’re ready.”
“Let’s discuss it now. I forgive you. For the first time. For my dad. For all of it. You were young too. You were struggling. You did the best you could. You did what you thought was right, and you were afraid that we’d choose the wrong thing. That I’d choose the wrong thing and that we’d both hate you for it. I forgive you for all of that, Quentin.”
“But…” I say in return, sure there’s about to be one.
“But if you walk out on me now because you think I chose wrong again, it’ll be the last time you do it.”
I let go of the handle.
“I love you. I thought it would make this easier. That having grown up and loving you hard enough would show me how to fix it all. But I’m still fucking up. I shouldn’t have done…” I look back at the chair. “That.”
“I have bossed and berated you since the moment you came back into my life. Running you through your paces and making you check every damn box on my list. You’ve done it all with minimal complaint. Then you apologized for events that were as much out of your control as they were mine and bared your whole soul to me. So I panicked and told you I was leaving town.”
“You have to chase what makes you happy, Madness. I know that.”
“You make me happy. I’m just scared I’ll lose you again. That if for a second I lose control of this, if I can’t make it all perfect, I’ll lose you all over again. I’m ragged with the stress of it. That…” Her eyes shift to the chair and then the wall. “That was the most grounded I’ve felt in a long time.”
“I see.” I stare at the chair and wall again, replaying it in my head.
“Is there a way I can get that without you being furious with me?”
“You want that side of me?”
“Not always, but on nights like tonight? Yes.”
I run a hand over my face and lean back against the door as I study her.
“You’re not going to lose me. Whatever happens, I’m here for you always. The last thing on earth I want is you stressed out over me. Fuck, if I could take all your stress away, I would. This is messy as fuck with everything going on. Our families.You and A.J. Working together. It’s more than messy—it’s a clusterfuck of epic proportions, but I’m not going anywhere.”
“Even after a day like today?” She looks at the door again, reminding me I tried to leave.
“I thought after you came down from it, you’d be pissed as hell and wouldn’t want to see me. I didn’t even ask if you were on the birth control. Fuck…” I feel the worry flash through me as I look at her.
“I was thinking through everything and working through my feelings. Then I realized I probably owe you an apology for pushing you away instead of talking to you. Being so heinous today.” She closes the gap between us and her palms land on my stomach. “And I’m on birth control. I would have said something otherwise.”
“You weren’t heinous. Like you said. You’re stressed and frustrated. Even if you were, you’re allowed to have bad days, Madness. I was out of bounds with some of the way I acted at Joss’s. You don’t owe me an apology.”
“You could have been better at Joss’s. Especially after I told you how important it was. What it could mean for your career to have that opportunity and more like it. You have to trust me right now to lead you through this the way I trusted you all those years ago.”
“I trust you. I just didn’t trust him.”
“If you trust me, you don’t have to worry about him. When you’re the man you can be, Quentin, no other man on earth comes close to you. I see it and other people will too once they see you through my eyes. That’s what I’m giving them. It’s not fake or pretend.”
“Even if they’re the same eyes that watched me walk away?”
“I didn’t even get to watch you, did I?”
I let out a rough breath at that truth. “I’m sorry for that.”
“I know and I forgive you. And you’re going to spend a lot oftime helping me forget, right?” Her eyes glitter with the question.
“Yes.”
