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***
It’s three in the morning when I pull into an empty gas station parking lot thirty minutes from the Demonio de Hielo compound. To stay under their radar, I’m going in on foot.
I tuck my two guns into their holsters, and my knife into a sheath on my ankle. After pulling on my leather jacket, I grab a pen and notepad from the glove compartment and begin writing…
Priest,
“Go back.”Sara doesn’t appear this time, but her voice, like a whisper in the darkest recesses of my mind, floats through my head on repeat.
“Go back.”
“Go back.”
“Go back, Zain.”
Ignoring her haunting whispers, I focus on the present and continue writing…
I guess if you’re reading this, it means things didn’t go to plan.
When Sara died, ending The Demonio de hielo cartel became my purpose. My obsession consumed me. Any part of me that was left after Sara’s death became tainted by my need for revenge.
I want you to know that I am prepared to die tonight… But, for the first time in years… I don’t want to.
I found her—found the one who calls to my soul… she is bathed in darkness and pain but her eyes shine with power and resolve.
If you’re reading this, take her to Willow. Take her to Willow, and Alaska and Oakley… take her home and give her the family she’s never had.
I’ve had years to think about Sara’s death. Years to think of what I could have done differently… years to obsess over how I could have saved her—and it’s an agony I don’t want for you.
So know this… had it not been for you, my body would have been in the ground long ago. If there’s anything you do for me, let it be that when you look back, you don’t look for what you could have done… instead see what you did.
It doesn’t feel like it now, but one day you’ll see that you saved me, brother.
You saved me,
Zain
***
After tucking the letter into the glove compartment, I sent a text to Liam to have him come get my SUV and leave the sealed letter back at my house. Knowing Priest, he’ll show up eventuallyto go through my shit. Nosy fucker. The thought makes me laugh, but it’s quickly replaced with a deep ache.
“I know what you’re trying to do, D. And even knowing it, it’s still fucking hard for me to accept who you’ve become.”
His last words haunt my mind.
Fuck.
Fuck.
“He’ll wonder forever, you know,” Sara says beside me.
From the corner of my eye I see her head turn, her gaze roaming my features. “Wonder what more he could have done to save you.”
The air rushes from my chest.
“Your pain may end tonight, Zain, but his is only starting.”
His is only starting.
