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“No, he shot someone, but they didn’t die. Thankfully for us, he’s a bad shot. The store owner took a bullet in the leg but made a full recovery.”
“Why isn’t Russo in jail?” Anger pushed away my fear. Why would they let someone like that back onto the streets only to do more harm?
“He got off on a technicality. Police procedure or something like that.”
I cursed under my breath. “What does he want with them?”
“That’s unclear.” Pop ran a hand through his silver-streaked hair. “Walsh thinks he might have some weird fixation on family. His father went to prison when he was fifteen. After that he bounced around foster homes. He thinks it’s possible that Russo wants them to be a family. I know, it sounds like the actions of a very disturbed person.”
“But Pop, what if it’s not that? What if he’s seeking revenge for some reason? And if that’s the case, they may already be dead.”
“What would be his reason, though?” Pop asked. “I’ve been asking myself that question since Walsh told us what he’d discovered.”
“Who knows? If this guy’s as unhinged as he appears to be, then he may somehow blame them for his father’s imprisonment or death. They had mothers and in Elliot’s case, an aunt to go to after her mother died. Maybe he sees it as unfair.” I hesitated, squeezing my eyes shut for a second. “I’m scared, Pop.”
“I know. Me too.”
“I care about her,” I said. “A lot.”
He touched his fingertips to his scruffy chin. “Yeah, we figured as much.”
“We were just getting started.”
“We can’t give up faith. We have to pray harder than we ever have in our lives.”
My doctor cameby during his morning rounds to check on my status. “You’re healing nicely. Keep this up and I’ll let yougo home this afternoon. Your brother Rafferty has promised to keep a close watch on you. If you’re still looking good when I come by this afternoon, I’ll release you. In the meantime, please continue to rest.” He explained for the fourth time that I’d lost a lot of blood and there was risk for infection around the bullet wound. I didn’t care about any of that. I just wanted out.
Mama and Pop stayed with me all morning, giving updates from Walsh when they heard anything. So far, they had no idea where Russo went after they left the river. They could be anywhere.
In the afternoon, Mama and Pop went home to get some sleep. They’d been up all night, helping search the woods for evidence. Soren and Thad came by to take their place.
It was almost funny watching Soren at a loss. He wasn’t exactly the nurturing type. I knew he was worried about me and Elliot but instead of expressing that, he kept leaving the room to get fresh air or coffee or whatever other excuse he could make.
Thad, on the other hand, was his usual helpful self. He made sure I had enough water and brought a pack of cards so we could play games. I had to do something with my hands or lose my mind, so even though my heart wasn’t in it, I was grateful to have my youngest brother and the deck of cards to keep me company.
Around four, Walsh called. Thad answered my phone and then put it on speaker. Soren was on another one of his walks, so it was only the two of us.
“Hey, guys. I’m calling with an update,” Walsh said. “We think we know where he might have taken them.”
I held my breath.
“Turns out he has an aunt and uncle. They’re estranged and have been for decades. However, this uncle has a fishing cabin in the Rockies of northern Montana, outside some little town in the Bitterroot Range. We’re putting together the team to go up there and check it out. If they’re there, we’ll find them.”
Thad hung up, and we stared at each other for a moment. No words needed to be spoken between us. If he’d taken them to the cabin, what did he want with them? What sick plot did Russo have in mind? If trapped and cornered, he could decide he’d rather kill them and himself before being taken into custody. Or they might not even be there. Or they might have been there and were now gone.
The possibilities were too many to contemplate without diving further into despair. What else could I do? I had no choice but to wait for news, all the while worrying and stuck in this stupid hospital bed.
As I lay there, contemplating scenarios that should never have had to enter the human mind, I understood, oddly enough, what it meant to be fully alive, to love and yearn and hope. How long had I been stuck in a place of stasis? Allowing myself the indulgence of distance from others? It was easier to remain apart, telling myself how different I was from others, even my brothers. But the truth was this. I was fallible. I could be deeply hurt, not only physically but emotionally. The blood on my shirt proved this to be true, but also the ache in my heart.
I’d fallen in love with Elliot Young. Nothing I did or didn’t do, no rationalizing or bargaining, could change the fact that I loved her. If she did not return to me, this heart I’d so carefully guarded since I was a small boy, trying so desperately to please a father who could never love me as I was, would shatter into a million pieces.
The pain from my bullet wound was nothing compared to that inside me. I reached for Thad’s hand, feeling about five years old and unable to push away feelings of panic and despair. Even if I were not stuck here, no movement or task or attending to some finite detail could change the way my chest ached under the weight of a dozen weeping elephants.
This was what it meant to love a woman. Risky and tempestuous. Reliant upon fate and the grace of God.
If she were to come back to me, I would no longer resist this gift that had fallen from the big Montana sky right into my kitchen. Elliot had brightened my world and wakened my senses. If she were to come back to me, she would know the full strength of my love. I would not look away or flinch or tell myself that I was not worthy of love. She would know my heart this time, because I would be brave enough to show it to her.
19
