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"How would you feel about that?"
"I don't know."
"Well, I don't know for sure, but it wouldn't surprise me if we woke up one morning and he was gone."
"What did Mama mean about the other women?"
Atticus frowned, and the pencil in his hand snapped in two. "Don't worry about it."
"Okay."
There was a knock on the door, followed by Mama entering. "Caspian, do you want to help me with the sauce now?"
I swung my feet over the bed and onto the braided rug on the floor. "Sure."
Mama sat on the end of the bed. She rubbed her eyes in the same way Atticus had just done. When she looked back up at me, a steely glint had come to her eyes.
"Atticus, how much of that did you two hear?" She shifted slightly to address my brother.
Atticus didn't say anything for a moment, maybe thinking about lying, but in the end he couldn't do it. He was honest to the bone. “I heard everything.”
"I see." Mama let out a long sigh. "Then I won't try to pretend like it didn’t happen. My mother used to do that, and I hated it. She and my father had some fights in their time, believe me. After they were over, the house would go deadly quiet for a day or so. I'd try to stay out of the way, other than doing my chores. For some reason, I thought it was my fault. I want you two to know that whatever he says or does has nothing to do with you. You're the finest boys a mama could ask for, and I want you to promise me you won't ever forget how much I love you."
"We love you too, Mama," I said.
Her eyes shimmered with tears. "I know you do. It will always be us, you know. Me and my five precious boys." She spread her arms wide and motioned for each of us to take a side. I scooted into her right side. She wrapped an arm around my shoulder and pulled me close. With her other arm, she did the same with Atticus. "I don't want you boys to give any of this another thought. Let's make some spaghetti sauce and fresh pasta. Iris made some dough for us when she was over earlier. Caspian, you and I can practice rolling it thin and cutting it into strips."
"They have machines for that, you know," Atticus said, teasing. “Did you know it comes in boxes at the supermarket?”
"Don't be sassy with me, young man," Mama said, ruffling his hair. "Sometimes Caspian and I like to cook the old-fashioned way."
"Suit yourselves. But I have studying to do, so if you two could move along, I'd appreciate it." Atticus made a dismissive gesture toward the door.
Mama kissed the top of his head. "Such an old man I have here. We’ll get out of your way.”
“Thanks, Mama,” Atticus said.
Mama took my hand in the hallway, and we made our way to the kitchen like that. With the warmth of Mama's touch,anything seemed bearable. Even facing the tests that would determine once and for all that something was wrong with me.
