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I don’t fucking know, and not knowing only riles me up. When the doorbell rings minutes later, I rush toward it, thankful that Ollie and Lucas are still out, leaving me an ounce of privacy for whatever is about to happen.
Suddenly Alec is in front of me, looking freshly showered and rippling with anticipation. His muscles bunch and flex as my eyes rove over him. I hate how he looks. I hate it.
“Hi,” I breathe, and Alec wets his lips.
“Can I come in?”
“Yeah, but, I mean, is Killian okay with you being here?” I ask, my voice raspy with nerves. We walk down the hallway toward my room, but I stop before we enter it.
“He doesn’t need to know where I am.”
I turn to look at him, pressing a hand to his chest. “But aren’t you together?” I ask, needing to know. I don’t know why I care. I never cared before, but for some reason, I do. I fucking care.
“No. I’m not with anyone. Killian and I are…we’re friends.”
I peek up at him. “Looks like he thinks you’re more than friends.”
“Yeah, but he knows where we stand. I’ve never lied to him about what we are.”
I run a hand through my hair and nod, finally letting him into my room. Once we’re inside, I extend the palm of my hand toward him. “The key. Please.”
He shakes his head, pulling it out and setting it on the dresser.
“Only after I see it.”
“I sent you a picture.”
“I want to see it up close and personal.”
My hand falls to my groin, and I cup it protectively, feeling suddenly ashamed.
“I don’t think I want you to.”
Alec blinks and then takes a step toward me, reaching out and removing my hand from my crotch. “We’ll see about that. But first, answer me this. Why did you put this on?”
He gently strokes it with a finger, and I feel my entire body flame. “To…I don’t know…to control myself. I need to get under control.”
“Control is no fun,” he says with a smirk, and I manage to roll my eyes even as his finger trails across my caged dick. “Come on, Jude. Show me. I want to see.”
His voice is nearly a whisper, and I can’t move. I can’t be an active participant in this. That would be too much. Too fucking much.
“I can’t.”
His eyes slam into mine. “Can I then?”
I think about it for just a second before I nod, just a dip of my chin before Alec reaches over and tugs my pants down, exposing me to him. He sucks in a breath and wets his lips, his gaze darkening.
“Fuck, look at you.”
I feel my entire body light on fire at those words, my skin turning a dark pink.
“Why are you so hot?” he asks, looking suddenly so forlorn. “Why is it you?”
The way he asks it, a mild desperation lacing his tone has me shaking my head. “I don’t mean to be.”
“I know. Fuck, I know. You never mean it.” His hand moves out to cup my dick and my head falls back and knocks against the wall.
“Jesus, take it off. It hurts,” I beg, my cock trying once more to get hard, but failing.
