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He wanted me to stay again, and I didn’t. I hurt him on purpose.
For a moment, I thought that I could keep this exactly what it was, but I’m starting to feel things for Jude. Complicated things. Like jealousy.
He’s more than I thought he was.
I hate that about him.
“Well, he seems very good with kids. I would love to be a great grandma soon.” My grandpa huffs behind his wife and shakes his head again. “What? I’m just being honest. I’d love to hold a baby.”
“Don’t pressure him, Helen.”
She sighs and then moves toward me, pulling me into a hug. It doesn’t even bother her that I’m sweaty and gross. She’s always loved me like a son. Ever since my parents moved to Florida two years ago, I knew that I wanted to stay close to my grandparents. So I moved in next door. I may be a little codependent, but life is short. Why not spend it with people you love?
“You don’t feel pressured, do you?” she asks, blinking up at me.
I sigh and pull away. “No. I know you want me to be happy, but Jude…he won’t make me happy.”
She frowns at my lie. Even I know it’s a lie. I didn’t really want to leave this morning. I wanted to stay. But it felt wrong. I felt wrong.
“Well, it’s amazing who you end up with, even when you don’t expect it.”
My grandpa huffs at that and rolls his eyes, grabbing a mug and filling it with day-old coffee.
“I never thought I’d be with this old miser, but here I am.”
“You love me, Helen. Love at first sight.”
She blushes and then pats me on the arm.
“All I mean is, you have this idea of who you’re going to end up with, but it usually ends up being different than you thought.”
I nod and then make my way back outside, the cool air nipping at my exposed skin as the sun warms it. It’s an interesting feeling, this push and pull. Almost the same as the feeling I have with Jude—hating him one second and liking him the next.
I don’t know how to manage it, how to manage my feelings.
No, no feelings. That’s not something I do—and especially not with Jude.
And yet, I end up at his place of work later, lingering in line like the creep I’ve become. I’m only here because the Greatest Wich has the most amazing sandwiches in this entire small town. My eyes definitely don’t linger on Jude, who is sneaking glances at me in between smiling at customers and striking up silly conversations with each of them. They are utterly bewitched by him.
A young woman with green hair is working beside him, and I see the easy way they flirt back and forth. Something clenches in my gut, but I push it away. I don’t have any right to feel anything about Jude. I don’twantto feel any kind of way about him.
And yet, when it’s my turn for him to take my order, I feel my tongue grow thick and I realize that I feel nervous.
Fuck. That. I haven’t felt nervous over a man in years.
“Hi,” he says, biting his bottom lip. Those lips that I kissed.
Shit, he’s a good kisser. I was hoping he’d be terrible at it, but that mouth is addictive.
“What can I get you?” he asks almost shyly.
“Just a number seven.”
He nods and starts working, and I watch him, not taking my eyes away from him. I love the way the lean muscles in his arms bunch and flex as he moves, love the way his cheeks are always slightly flushed.
“What are your plans for the rest of the day?” he asks when he slides my sandwich down the counter toward the young woman with the green hair. Izzy. That’s right. I’ve seen her here before. She’s hard to forget.
“Oh, do we have plans?” she asks with a wink at Jude. “Because I’ve been trying to get this tool to go out with me this entire week, but he’s been busy.”
